Feeling like I've gone crazy....

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SadsackinCali

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Since October I've been experiencing body wide muscle twitching. One night I was laying in bed and my L foot went crazy with twitching. By the next day, I noticed it in my R calf. Within weeks I had wide spread twitching throughout my body. Since then, I have had major pain in my legs when I do anything that stretches or causes my muscle to strain. I can still walk fine, although I have noticed that when I stand for a while or walk for long periods my legs hurt. Not like a sore muscle, but like a deep ache. I noticed this aching for the first time this last summer while swimming and then while walking on the beach. I didn't think much of it until the twitching started and then the pain.

I have been to my GP and had major blood work done, as well as to the ER for numbness on the L side of my face. At the ER they did a CT scan which came back normal. My GP has referred me to a neuro. who I will be seeing on January 8th.

The waiting is driving me crazy. It's worse then what I am physically going through. I have become obssesed with doing at home strength tests, which don't help 'cus I don't know what I'm looking for and make my legs hurt terrible the next day. I also have become obsessed with researching ALS on my computer, which doesn't help because all it does is scare the crap out of me. I feel like I have gone crazy in a period of 3 months. I have so much anxiety.

I am the mother of two boys and am terrified that I wont be able to see them grow up. How does anyone deal with the waiting...and then the knowing. This has been the worst trial of my life.
 

ottawa girl

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Sadsack-

Why are you jumping to the worse case scenario? My goodness- twitching is most often benign. Numbness in face is also NOT a symptom. STOP the self diagnosis - you are not a doc tor and if you are, you should know better. January 8th is just a week away and I'm betting you do not have ALS. Take a deep breath and get off the internet for awhile - You're not doing yourself any favours.

Please let us know outcome of your consultation.
 

berniec74

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I completely agree....get off the internet and don't take stock in that information and do a self diagnosis! the body is a crazy thing and you probably no more have ALS than the next person....please take a deep breathe and relax and don't let your mind wander and get to the doc! best of luck.
 

SadsackinCali

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Thank you for replying to my post so quickly. I agree that searching the internet for "twitching muscles" was the worst thing I could have possibly done for myself. I keep telling myself to stop thinking the worst possible thing, it's just...until this point in my life I have never had fear like this. I've lost about 8 lbs. in the last couple months due to the stress (I know it's stress 'cus it's my waist that is shrinking, not my legs).

The support that you guys offer on this site is amazing. After cruzing this site for the last couple of months this is why I decided to join. Although I have the support of family and friends, I feel as if my constant withdrawness isn't fair to them. I feel like it's hard for someone who has never been through this type of fear to really understand how withdrawn it can make you feel.

Thanks again...and your right, January 8th is only a week away...I'll give an update when I have seen the neuro.
 

momap53

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Waiting is a bummer, but have faith in Elaine's response. Spend time with your kids, live, laugh and love! No amount of worry will change the outcome. You will only lose precious time that can never be regained
 

Shaun C

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@sadsack great advice already given that I will repeat, get off the internet. You sound exactly the way I did when I was hospitalized and decided to diagnose myself with als. I had myself so anxiety ridden I was in the ER atleast once a week and being prescribe all sorts of anxiety pills that didn't make me feel better, they actually made me feel worse. I have the same fears as you having 3 very young kids of my own. All the worrying in the world won't help. Just get off the internet and listen to your doctors. The anxiety just amplifies all your other symptoms and will even produce symptoms that you didn't have before. Internet bad, peace of mind good.
 

SadsackinCali

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Thank you for all of the messages to bring peace of mind. I agree that the internet (and my own compulsion) has stolen my joy for life. I find it very difficult to think of anything, other then what the heck is wrong with me. Being off of work for the Christmas break (I work in a school) has not been very helpful...it's just given me more time to obsess over every new sensation within my body. I miss my old life with joy and laughter. I ran out of anxiety meds last week, which may be why I'm having such a hard time this week.

The strength, hope, and peace that the others exude on this forum is amazing! I hope some of this will rub off on me. Thank you for taking the time to reply to someone who is undiagnosed and scarred out of their mind.
 

Grateful

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SadsackinCali

Well, there are all those statistics about increased anxiety/depression etc over holiday periods so you are responding perfectly normally, statistically speaking.

Feeling freaked out still sucks, however, and I am therefore deploying my entirely non-scientific, but tried and tested, figures crossed procedure as back up to Elaine's kind, calm, and loving good sense for your consultation on the 8th. If things get really tough before then I recommend hitting the shoe sales...
 
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