Status
Not open for further replies.

Vae2244

New member
Joined
Aug 14, 2013
Messages
6
Reason
Loved one DX
Country
US
State
Ca
City
Oceanside
Well good morning everyone , my name is Victoria I'm 24 and a United States Marine. I have avoided this forum for a long time actually I used to have an account when my father first started experiencing symptoms I would write but as his symptoms increased and he started to lose more ability in his body I slowly began to not get on the forum it was becoming reality for me that I wanted to avoid . No one wants their parents are a loved one to go
through that such an awful disease it makes me
So angry as a person . Well I lost my dad a year ago it was a little after boot camp during my job school I was able to go on emergency leave when my dad was in hospis. I watched him slowly die in the hospital he held on and fought an his eyes lit up when he saw me come through that door in my USMC running suit. My dad could not speak but he made hand motions each day in the hospital he drifted away more and more , the night before he died I was alone with him and held his hand and told him he could let go to
Go home god will be waiting for him along with his mom and dad . I told him it was to painful for us to watch him like that it hurt is more to see him struggle . The next day he passed away , that was the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my life i rather do bootcamp again then go through that and it was life changing ,
I was ok at first sad , angry but was ok. As time passed I more sad more angry and depressed in my first year of the Marine Corps I was dealing with a loss and had the stress of being new to the military I worked out to handle most of my stress and then I broke my ankle that is when my life changed I was depressed I hated life I didn't want to wake up anymore . I started battling my depression finally I decided I need help so I went to mental health and got on some anti depressants , I'm struggling still but also getting the help I need losing my father has changed my life in so many ways I wish I could have one more day with him . ALS is brutal I hate it with all my heart it took my dad from me , what I saw the amazing man that I called dad go through such an ugly disease , it traumatized me for life I will never be the same . Maybe I'm on here to help others with their loved ones experiencing what I experience , or maybe I'm on here I help myself and talk to
People who understand I don't know but I'm here an I want to
Help anyone I can talk to anyone I can . I know a lot about ALS after experiencing through my father . I know he would want me to
Help others so here I am please don't hesitate to talk
To me -Victoria
 

vickim

Very helpful member
Joined
Sep 20, 2012
Messages
2,255
Reason
Friend was DX
Diagnosis
03/2012
Country
US
State
MO
City
aaaa
First of all I am so sorry for your loss and struggles. Secondly I would like the thank you for your service. I come from a big military family. Many of my family is military, husband, son, nephews, brother in law, grandfather, brother, sister and last but not least my dad. He is a viet nam vet and dying of cancer. I understand everything you are talking about. I wish you peace.
 

Vae2244

New member
Joined
Aug 14, 2013
Messages
6
Reason
Loved one DX
Country
US
State
Ca
City
Oceanside
Thank you as I feel for you cancer is an ugly disease as well my mom fought it and now is cancer free . I have been through a lot in my life as young adult they say things happen for a reason maybe it was supposed l
Make me a strong person idk I don't feel that way maybe one day I
Will look back thinking how did I make it.
 

Vae2244

New member
Joined
Aug 14, 2013
Messages
6
Reason
Loved one DX
Country
US
State
Ca
City
Oceanside
Today, 01:37 PM #4 (permalink)
Vae2244
New Member (Say Hi)
Registered Member
Join Date: 2013
City: Oceanside
State: Ca, Us
Diagnosed: 00/0000
Forum Interest: I am a relative of someone with ALS/MND
Posts: 2

Re: Father passed away from als
Thank you as I feel for you cancer is an ugly disease as well my mom fought it and now is cancer free . I have been through a lot in my life as young adult they say things happen for a reason maybe it was supposed l
Make me a strong person idk I don't feel that way maybe one day I
Will look back thinking how did I make it.
 

Debbie53

Active member
Joined
Aug 16, 2008
Messages
86
Reason
Lost a loved one
Country
US
State
Colorado
City
Greeley
Hi, Victoria.

I'm very sorry for your loss. It's so hard.

Even though I haven't posted on this forum in years, somehow this is the one username and password I always remember. My dad also died of ALS (tentatively diagnosed) 4 & 1/2 years ago and I'm still not over it. I have a lot of anger left - at doctors, at the nursing home, even his Hospice. Of course, no one could alter the course of the disease; but no one cared enough to find out how to make him comfortable. In this day and age, this seems like a crime to me. He went from being a Masters Track athlete (200 lbs) to a completely helpless man (130 lbs) in less than 2 years. Heck, he lost probably 90% of that in the last year.

My mom died of lung disease (also very hard) in June of 2008, and he went in October. I felt like I was like running around in circles, staring up at the sky with my arms out, as they came crashing down, and I tried to cushion their falls. I have Fibromyalgia and spinal problems myself, so what I could do was limited. There wasn't anyone else really helping.

This is a horrible disease, no 2 ways about it. It takes and takes. In my dad's case, at least, it never reached a plateau, a phase where we could just catch our breath for awhile. My only consolation is that he did go quickly....well, not quickly enough, but....

I'm so glad for this forum! It gives us a place to talk to others who truly know what we're feeling. There's so much helplessness with ALS, so we need to stick together. Thanks for letting me vent.

Debbie
 

Vae2244

New member
Joined
Aug 14, 2013
Messages
6
Reason
Loved one DX
Country
US
State
Ca
City
Oceanside
Hi nice to hear from you , means a lot you reached out to me I'm very sorry for your major losses many people do not understand the pain and aftermath it causes us ..I bet you feel like me how you thought things couldn't get worse but they did its made me a wreck but I'm Trying to take steps on the right direction by getting help well I'm
Always here to talk thank you
 

bowser

Distinguished member
Joined
Aug 22, 2013
Messages
144
Diagnosis
03/2011
Country
US
State
Arkansas
City
Cherokee Village
Even when we know what is coming, it is not easy.

I can not imagine losing one's father while in the military. Early in the military the stress is enough w/o a father dying of ALS .

My wife ( age 68) is nearing the end. Totally paralyzed and communicates by SLIGHT eye closings.

ALS is a wicked disease because once the caregiver adapts to a deteriorating condition, it changes again for the worst and one has to adapt to something new.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top