pdcraig
Distinguished member
- Joined
- Mar 2, 2013
- Messages
- 101
- Reason
- Lost a loved one
- Diagnosis
- 09/2012
- Country
- CA
- State
- ontario
- City
- oshawa
It's been a really nice holiday season so far with my PALS, Ferd. I'm off work so no racing back and forth trying to balance work and visits and well, life in general.
There was one off kilter note, my visit coincided with his sister and her family. I try my best not to have that happen. He doesn't like large groups of people at the same time. Hard to follow everything and he has a difficult time trying to keep up communicating with his board. I got ready to go and he actually spoke and said, " Don't leave". The next hour and a half just left me shaking my head in disbelief.
I get that I'm immersed in this, I deal with him on pretty much a daily basis. They live closer to him than I do, they pass by on their way to work at least 3 times a week and are averaging about a visit every other month. I don't understand that.
They commented on his new wheelchair that's over a month old. As I explained the benefits, I could see I lost them, eyes glazing over.
Time to open presents. His sister contacted me to find out what he would like or needed. She bought things I told her not to buy, then argued with him about how could he know they weren't right if he didn't try them. They were a little miffed he wasn't more appreciative.
On to desserts. I had a bunch of things my aunts had sent up for him. They know he has a sweet tooth and all sent things with my mom. I was sharing things out and she asked if I had made everything. I explained where they had come from and she asked, " Why would they do that?". Why wouldn't they?
My family is 4 hours away. They've been trying to help in any way they can. Money, treats, visits, anything. They've been to the care facility. My father had my mother send flowers to the two women who share Ferd's dining room table just to say thank you for being so nice to him.
It's such a sharp contrast to how uninvolved and disinterested his family seems.
My cousin from Halifax, changed her plans so she could stop by on her way home for the holidays. My mother and her sister came to spend Christmas with us. My mom normally hosts the family Christmas dinner, 40 - 60 people. Cancelled with out a second thought when I told her I wasn't coming home. We got everything prepared and took Christmas to him. It was great.
Of his 6 siblings, four have visited once over the holidays. I don't get that.
I try and be understanding. We all deal with things in our own ways but seriously?
I could go on and on. Now I know why he didn't want me to leave.
I realize this is fairly tame compared to some of the other family stories I have read here.
Share, get it off your chest. Let's start the new year a little lighter in our hearts.
There was one off kilter note, my visit coincided with his sister and her family. I try my best not to have that happen. He doesn't like large groups of people at the same time. Hard to follow everything and he has a difficult time trying to keep up communicating with his board. I got ready to go and he actually spoke and said, " Don't leave". The next hour and a half just left me shaking my head in disbelief.
I get that I'm immersed in this, I deal with him on pretty much a daily basis. They live closer to him than I do, they pass by on their way to work at least 3 times a week and are averaging about a visit every other month. I don't understand that.
They commented on his new wheelchair that's over a month old. As I explained the benefits, I could see I lost them, eyes glazing over.
Time to open presents. His sister contacted me to find out what he would like or needed. She bought things I told her not to buy, then argued with him about how could he know they weren't right if he didn't try them. They were a little miffed he wasn't more appreciative.
On to desserts. I had a bunch of things my aunts had sent up for him. They know he has a sweet tooth and all sent things with my mom. I was sharing things out and she asked if I had made everything. I explained where they had come from and she asked, " Why would they do that?". Why wouldn't they?
My family is 4 hours away. They've been trying to help in any way they can. Money, treats, visits, anything. They've been to the care facility. My father had my mother send flowers to the two women who share Ferd's dining room table just to say thank you for being so nice to him.
It's such a sharp contrast to how uninvolved and disinterested his family seems.
My cousin from Halifax, changed her plans so she could stop by on her way home for the holidays. My mother and her sister came to spend Christmas with us. My mom normally hosts the family Christmas dinner, 40 - 60 people. Cancelled with out a second thought when I told her I wasn't coming home. We got everything prepared and took Christmas to him. It was great.
Of his 6 siblings, four have visited once over the holidays. I don't get that.
I try and be understanding. We all deal with things in our own ways but seriously?
I could go on and on. Now I know why he didn't want me to leave.
I realize this is fairly tame compared to some of the other family stories I have read here.
Share, get it off your chest. Let's start the new year a little lighter in our hearts.
