Dear People,
I heard, the diagnoses of MND depends strongly on different neurological and other medical (electrical,...) explorations that have to take place at least for two times to be scientific.
I also heard, being upset about the "diagnoses" and/or the sensations (weak, fasziculating, ...) in the body and/or the new situationis a must. We must react on this in some way. We ARE in completely new situations. Future was thought to be different to what now "is". What will be? And when? How long will I ... ? Etc. Other happy questions?
Today I watch people in the bus with new eyes, I see live with new eyes, I find myself in public situations where i could weep because it is so nice to be also here. And one day I looked into a furniture-shop and got weepy because I can never ever be a carpender again. I also had to decide not to take new children as patients in psychotherapy. I give away hundrets of my loved books to help founding a circulating library for a small social club in Linz/Austria. I learn(d) to devide the important from the less important books.
We all have to say good bye to a lot of things, to every-single-thing during a not known period.
Yes, I can get a bit weepy over tv programs, something i have done before too. Watch "Green tomatoes at the whistlestopp cafe", maybe you are also touched from this story in another story about relations between people. We have been and are feeling humanbeings. Weeping, fearing something, being without an idea, ... is not reserved for children.
At times I laugh too much at little jokes too. Ok. I have nothing to lose. I won a lucky crazy funny laughing moment and feel a bit better now. I try to give myself permission just to be here and laugh as it is.
I can weep the other time. And then I try to design it relaxed, it does not matter where I am. Sometimes I try to breath during weeping, dont hold it back all times. It costs a lot of power to hold back the tears all time and affects the body too, so that I dont feel very good afterwards. With weeping I can get rid of some tension in my body. With laughing too.
Besides Rilutek (Riluzol inside) I dont take medicaments since one year. Perhaps I am not depressed enough. My reactions - I think - are normal, understandable, expectable.
See you
Thomas Weiss