I just want to thank you all, Nikki, Laurie, Clearwater AL, Jeff for your kind responses. My initial post here was on Nov 30. And i have be met with kind, thoughtful, encouraging responses in that short span from ‘very worried’ to my ‘holy sh!t’ day yesterday. I am very bleary-eyed and exceptionally sleep deprived at present. I am not sure how i will move forward… and begin to tell family, friends my fate. I am supposed to go to a friends big surprise 50th bday next month. do i not say anything and pretend all is well in my life when i am dying inside? Do i tell people and have them move awkwardly in my presence only to say uncomfortable cliche things to me?
I guess i will have to find a new environment because i refuse to be that guy who walks into the room and sees the air and fun sucked out because people are like, ‘oh sh!t, geez its that poor guy, damn.’ That is simply human nature, not any indictment of my friends.
I had a good friend, healthy, fit 51yr old pass away suddenly in Aug 2020 of an aneurism. Just moved his daughter into her dorm at college. It was so tragic. I think of him often and now i think of him in an envious way. I will stop posting as i see the tenor of what i am typing is not healthy for others. But this just my reality. God speed.
I guess i will have to find a new environment because i refuse to be that guy who walks into the room and sees the air and fun sucked out because people are like, ‘oh sh!t, geez its that poor guy, damn.’ That is simply human nature, not any indictment of my friends.
I had a good friend, healthy, fit 51yr old pass away suddenly in Aug 2020 of an aneurism. Just moved his daughter into her dorm at college. It was so tragic. I think of him often and now i think of him in an envious way. I will stop posting as i see the tenor of what i am typing is not healthy for others. But this just my reality. God speed.