Status
Not open for further replies.

K Lynne T

New member
Joined
Mar 20, 2013
Messages
7
Reason
CALS
Diagnosis
12/2011
Country
US
State
Texas
City
Carrollton
Any advice on the best way to take away your loved ones driving privileges? My husband has ALS with FTD and I no longer feel comfortable with him driving. My kids are also pushing me to take his keys away. He doesn't drive much anymore, usually to our local post office and Subway (he LOVES Subway).

A little history: he still has his lower body strength, but has breathing problems (using a Bipap at night), I can no longer understand his speech and his FTD seems to be getting slowly worse. He sometimes has episodes where he coughs so hard, he passes out.

I've tried talking to him about it, but he immediately grabs his keys and puts them in his pocket. I know he will put up a fight as this is basically the last of his "independence". His license expires in December and I would bet they won't let him renew.

Not only am I afraid he will hurt himself or someone else, but if he gets pulled over, I'm sure the police will think he's drunk.

Anyone else gone through this?
 
My father has ALS/FTD. He was told not to drive after his diagnosis. He kept sneaking out to drive to get cigarettes(which he was secretly smoking). We had to hide his keys after we found out what he was doing. He was still walking at the time but mentally he was no where near he needed to be to drive. He was really unhappy about it. He tore the house apart looking for them when my mother was at work. It's a terrible thing to have to take away many of the things they love. My father was a hunter/fisherman and loved working outside in his shop. All things that are too dangerous with the als/ftd combo. It's difficult to do but it's necessary for his safety and those on the road with him. Good luck.
 
Thanks. I think I knew that there would be no easy way to do this. My husband also loved to hunt and fish. Loved to talk and never knew a stranger. That's what I hate about this disease - it takes away everything they loved to do. Now, he just sits and watches the same 5 or 6 movies all day. Except when I get home from work, he follows me everywhere. :)

I wish the best for you and your family. It's so hard watching the one you love slowly die each day.
 
We hid Glen's keys and kept mine up too high for him to be able to reach them. This is another time when those baby locks come in handy.. on a drawer or cabinet where you keep those things that need to be inaccessable. Eventually he didn't have the strength in his hands to turn the key so it was no longer an issue.
 
I think you should have the doctor revoke his license and apprise your husband of it. That way, he can't blame you. He may of course blame you, but the news may be easier for him to accept coming from a third party. Alternatively, if your husband's reaction is a real concern, plan ahead with the doctor a scenario in which you will attend an appointment to his office with your husband and pretend to try to talk the doctor out of revoking the license. There is no way you'd want him to have an accident (minor or serious) and risk losing your assets should he be found culpable.

On the way home, stop in at Subway's and buy him several gift certificates - tell him you'll bring him anytime so he can redeem them whenever he wants.
 
OH, another idea (from my nephew the cop; my late brother the cop offered the same advice at the time) Contact your local police department's non-emergency number... explain to them what's going on. You may be able to "set up" a traffic stop, where the officer takes his license.
 
I gave up my car keys as soon as I noticed my legs were getting weaker.
It was a hard decision but it was the safest one.
I did not want to endanger myself, my family or others. I don't have FTD, though.
 
Hey Carlos, i'm noticing my gas foot falls so much that my car slowly stops... but well i got my knee to put some pressue on the foot/gas.. can't you do that? i love driving.. i won't get that taken away...
 
Hey Carlos, i'm noticing my gas foot falls so much that my car slowly stops... but well i got my knee to put some pressue on the foot/gas.. can't you do that? i love driving.. i won't get that taken away...

Sorry JTorm, but it sounds like you should not be driving. How do you expect your legs to function correctly in an emergency? I know it's hard to give up, but you could be a real danger to others.

I gave up driving even when I still had the strength for it. My reflexes were so brisk I couldn't count on doing the right maneuver when startled.
 
FTD causes breakdown of "executive function"... meaning the ability to make appropriate decisions in an emergency traffic situation, for example. Most caregivers of persons with FTD realize how dangerous it is for that person to be driving. It is not a desire to take away their independence but a desire to protect both the person with FTD and others from an extremely dangerous situation. It is gut wrenching but necessary.
 
Such a difficult situation and I'm sorry you're going through it. I like Elaine's suggestion of it being the doctor's decision. Yasmin.
 
I'm facing this issue, as the renewal date for my license is coming up. I haven't driven in two years and don't intend to. However, if I am able to renew my license, I will. My question is how does one insure a car if you don't have a license? My car is insured in my name with two other people listed as drivers.
 
I don't drive by choice. I can drive but it is painful. I will keep my license for emergencies.
 
If you are asking these questions - it is time. I was in denial for so long - so afraid to take that last bit of freedom away. I even had him do a driving test at the Cleveland Clinic - and they passed him. Problem was - he scored ok but they don't have scores for 35 yr olds! Before he was diagnosed he hit BOTH my neighbors cars AND their house with 10 people in the yard. He couldn't stop the car so he jumped out instead. LUCKILY our insurance covered him. I am suprised - imagine if insurance knew that he drove knowing he was disgnosed with ALS and FTD! I let the occupational therapist play the bad guy and he "stopped" Jim from driving. Luckily no one was injured or killed.

As for the car - it is still in Jim's name. In the State of Ohio it is ok. Since I am his spouse I am legally allowed to drive the car - the insurance has both of our names on it. HOWEVER - I did get pulled over one night on a random license plate check - the cop saw that Jim no longer has a license and could not see who was driving so he pulled me over to check if Jim was driving. Check with your insurance agent and state BMV.
 
old dog--we did not renew my husband's license, and that was a mistake just sometimes you need it for ID. If you can't renew, get the state ID card. not having the license didn't affect my insurance--we didn't mention it to them and my husband is still on the policy so the cost is lower (2 teenage drivers!)

having the cars in just the pals name is tough on the spouse--I am on all the cars but one, and that was the one that was towed. I had a really hard time getting it out of the impound since I didn't have my POA with me. I explained the situation and they relented I guess because I live in a small town and looked so pathetic...
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top