Do you think people know when the end is near?

Status
Not open for further replies.
Joined
Dec 31, 2013
Messages
10
Reason
Loved one DX
Country
US
State
KS
City
Kansas City
My dad has ALS. He told me that he's tired, he's tired if fighting it and that he believes the end is near. He's almost 77 and he's withered down to a mere 117 lbs. it's just so heart wrenching to see my strong, brave, wonderful dad deteriorate before my eyes. Please be honest with your response.
 

mrvaughan

Distinguished member
Joined
Nov 9, 2013
Messages
101
Diagnosis
05/2000
Country
US
State
MI
City
Grand Rapids
Yes, I think people do know when the end is near. I also think that some people get sad and depressed and think the end is near when it really isn't. This disease is a long tiring fight, no wonder your dad is tired and worn out. I am glad you are there for him.
Mary
 

Darlenne

Member
Joined
Dec 20, 2013
Messages
14
Reason
Loved one DX
Country
BRA
State
SAO
City
SP
I don't know what to say to you :( my mom started talking about that she's going soon too.. Its devastating..She's very pale, got no energy, she has lost 14kg since diagnose.. She's 60yo has been always the best mother in the planet.. my best friend, my everything... I can imagine how you're feeling...it's just very confusing and awful... Try to be calm and keep being supportive..Enjoy him as much as you can... I usually bring up nice memories from the past, specially those funny ones.. It puts a big smile on her face and it's priceless!

Keep Being Strong
:)
 

Santa joe

Senior member
Joined
Oct 14, 2013
Messages
637
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
02/2012
Country
US
State
South Carolina
City
Goose Creek
I also agree with Darlene and Mary. They know when the time is near. I could see it in both my Mother and Stepfathers eyes. I wonder if I will see that in my husbands eyes when ALS takes him away from me. Just reassure your DAD how much you love him and how much he means to you. God bless you.
 
Last edited:

Santa joe

Senior member
Joined
Oct 14, 2013
Messages
637
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
02/2012
Country
US
State
South Carolina
City
Goose Creek
Stay strong and remember we are all here for you.
 
Last edited:

zoohouse

Senior member
Joined
Jan 14, 2013
Messages
958
Reason
CALS
Diagnosis
07/2012
Country
CA
State
B.C.
City
Salmon Arm
In my 33 years of nursing I have stopped arguing with people who tell me their time is up, because they usually are correct. My own brother who fought to the very end told me the night before he died that it was his last night (cancer). He was alert enough the day he passed to settle an insurance issue with his company, and say goodbye to everyone. He passed 3 hours later with his family all around him. Some hold on for their families, because they feel so guilty. It often gives them so much peace to give them permission. I know how hard that is, but not as hard as watching them struggle to the bitter end. It is wonderful to see how much you love your father, and I am sure it is such a treasure for him. You are in my prayers.
 
Joined
Dec 31, 2013
Messages
10
Reason
Loved one DX
Country
US
State
KS
City
Kansas City
That's a great point in that one could get depressed enough to think it's the end.
 
Joined
Dec 31, 2013
Messages
10
Reason
Loved one DX
Country
US
State
KS
City
Kansas City
Thank you all for posting. I've let him know how much I love him, how proud I am of him and that he's the most wonderful father anyone could even hope to have. I initially didn't want to talk to him this way because I didn't want him thinking I was jumping the gun on dying. But when he told me he's tired and he thinks the end is very near, I just couldn't hold in the things I wanted to say. I've let him know that everything is his decision and that no matter what I 100% support him. He smiled, nodded and patted me on the knee. I'm really going to try and bring up the fun/funny times. He's good natured, loves a good story or joke and he'd appreciate that. Thank you Darlene for suggesting that.

My heart goes out to each one of you. This disease is cruel and unrelenting. It's hard on PALS, caregivers and families.
 

dldred

Senior member
Joined
Mar 31, 2009
Messages
529
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
03/2009
Country
US
State
NY
City
Chateaugay
I am sure people know when they are passing. My mother was getting weaker and weaker and I asked her if she was tired of fighting and she shook her head yes, so I told her she didn't need to fight anymore if she didn't want to. The look on her face was all I needed to know that she was ready. The next day she slipped into a coma and passed very peacefully the next day. I am glad we had that moment together, it somehow makes it easier.

Dana
 

Barbie

Extremely helpful member
Joined
Dec 29, 2007
Messages
2,659
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
01/2007
Country
US
State
FL
City
orlando
I think you will be able to look back on this and know you made the end easier for him and did the right thing. be strong
 

Debs sis

Member
Joined
Jun 3, 2013
Messages
16
Reason
CALS
Country
US
State
Nc
City
Huntersville
My dear sister has been saying it was near for awhile. Hospice told us this week, 1-3 weeks, as she can't eat, drink or take meds anymore. I'm on my way to be with her through the end. Heartbroken. It's only been a year since diagnosis , so fast.....and wretched.

I feel very bad for you and your dad, so very sorry.
 
Joined
Dec 31, 2013
Messages
10
Reason
Loved one DX
Country
US
State
KS
City
Kansas City
Hugs to you Dana...I'm so sorry. Thank you for sharing.

Hugs to you too Debs sis. Please keep us posted on how things are going. A terrible time, indeed. I'm so sorry. Thank you for sharing.
 

Carpaumoz

New member
Joined
Jan 3, 2014
Messages
1
Country
US
State
NY
City
New York
Hi. My friend's been fighting for 3 years, it's so hard see him sad, but it's so nice when gives that big smile. It's good not talking about his particular condition so much. Better if you bring those nice time together...those funnies stories...
I'm taking care my friend and it's has tough me a lot. He is an angel, right now he is at the hospital, I don't know if he will comes home anymore...but something I know is that he has been purified his soul...if he pass today...he will be in God hands.

Carmelo
 

Murphy123

New member
Joined
Oct 3, 2013
Messages
7
Reason
CALS
Country
US
State
Vermont
City
Essex Junction
I agree that people who are near the end do know it. My husband passed on 12/21/2013. He said that he thought he could see angels. My heart is broken.
 

Debs sis

Member
Joined
Jun 3, 2013
Messages
16
Reason
CALS
Country
US
State
Nc
City
Huntersville
Oh Murphy123, I'm so sorry. Are you doing ok? I'm dreading this......
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top