Jason's Dream
Distinguished member
- Joined
- Sep 5, 2010
- Messages
- 310
- Country
- US
- State
- As Usual
- City
- On My Own
I know, I am not the only one who is going through family issues after our sweethearts have died.
Its almost 6 months past, and I am still having family issues with not just his side of the family but mine as well. I am soo done with the added stress and emotional crap and unnecessary drama... I just want to break from them all and start all afresh with just my little loves and I.
Had a hard time the week prior to Easter for various reasons. Was invited the day before Easter to Jason's family's get-together, and to my Sister's on Easter. I declined both. My Sister didn't have an issue with it (or at least, hasn't said so), Jason's family on the other hand, has been impossible! After inviting me, which I thanked them for the invite, I declined. Then they asked why. Instead of a "lie" and making up some sort of excuse, I told her the truth and explained how that I am not having a good week and am not in a celebratory mood. She then proceeded to:
1) Tell me that I shouldn't be like that ( I love how people seem to know how we should grieve and what we should and shouldn't do. Since when is the last time they lost thier husband and father of thier 2 children and suddenly become experts?)
2) Tell me that Jason wouldn't want me to be like this (Um, on what planet is it appropriate to talk to me like I don't know my own husband? If you knew my husband, like she obviously didn't, he would have allowed me to go through it in any way possible I needed to and would have been compassionate and understanding, like he was when we lost our two children!)
3) After "pumping" me with questions, and then berating me on my choice for what I felt I needed for me, she then proceeded to ask if she could take my children to the function (Jason and I agreed long time ago, that his family would never be alone with our children, and NEVER has! On what planet was it okay to ask to take the children away from a grieving Momma?).
I'm sure this is not the last I will hear of this, but it wasn't one sided. I also declined going to my Sisters as well.
Well, another issue is brewing. During Jason's downward spiral of ALS, we noticed that his mom and several other family members had started posting pictures online of our children. Well, we want to protect our children, and with the fact that his sister's ex had molested her son, and not sure of her friends online, etc, we decided to error on the side of caution and respectively ask people not to post pictures of our children online. I have asked friends, my side of the family, as well as pastors from my parents church to remove photos of us and not to post pictures of us, etc. Everyone has complied, respectively seeing we are just trying to protect our children.
Well, several months before he passed, I asked his mom nicely to please remove the photos, explained our concerns etc. She became on the defensive and instead, posted more pictures. I got chewed out by various family members for "attacking her" again. Then within that week, the rest of his family posted pictures of our children on thier site. Knowing we didn't have alot of time with Jason, and not wanting to waste his precious time on a fight about this that was brewing, I said nothing, and told myself I'd deal with this once he was passed, but right now, no matter how much of an a$$ they were being, he needed his family, so I let it go for the time being.
Well, this past week, instead of getting into a confronting argument and having to go to each one of them and having this unpleasant conversation in which they would, no doubt, berate me again, I chose just to report the photos of unauthorized underage children to fb.
Well, fb not only took the photos down, but also evidentally contacted each one of them and let them know that they had been reported and by WHOM.
Yeah, I've been getting nasty PM's and stuff on FB now. Let the shit fly! Here we go again!
Then if that doesn't beat all, a niece of mine was asking where my photos were. I explained that I was having a hard time with his side of the family concerning pictures so I took them down. Her response was, "You mean, I can't use one of your photos of your daughter for my cover photo on fb?"
UGH! And don't get me started on my parents!
Suffice it to say, I am done with family, and can't wait to have a complete break from them all. I am not partial to either side. I need drama and stress, and emotionally taxing.. FREE!
:/ vent over
Its almost 6 months past, and I am still having family issues with not just his side of the family but mine as well. I am soo done with the added stress and emotional crap and unnecessary drama... I just want to break from them all and start all afresh with just my little loves and I.
Had a hard time the week prior to Easter for various reasons. Was invited the day before Easter to Jason's family's get-together, and to my Sister's on Easter. I declined both. My Sister didn't have an issue with it (or at least, hasn't said so), Jason's family on the other hand, has been impossible! After inviting me, which I thanked them for the invite, I declined. Then they asked why. Instead of a "lie" and making up some sort of excuse, I told her the truth and explained how that I am not having a good week and am not in a celebratory mood. She then proceeded to:
1) Tell me that I shouldn't be like that ( I love how people seem to know how we should grieve and what we should and shouldn't do. Since when is the last time they lost thier husband and father of thier 2 children and suddenly become experts?)
2) Tell me that Jason wouldn't want me to be like this (Um, on what planet is it appropriate to talk to me like I don't know my own husband? If you knew my husband, like she obviously didn't, he would have allowed me to go through it in any way possible I needed to and would have been compassionate and understanding, like he was when we lost our two children!)
3) After "pumping" me with questions, and then berating me on my choice for what I felt I needed for me, she then proceeded to ask if she could take my children to the function (Jason and I agreed long time ago, that his family would never be alone with our children, and NEVER has! On what planet was it okay to ask to take the children away from a grieving Momma?).
I'm sure this is not the last I will hear of this, but it wasn't one sided. I also declined going to my Sisters as well.
Well, another issue is brewing. During Jason's downward spiral of ALS, we noticed that his mom and several other family members had started posting pictures online of our children. Well, we want to protect our children, and with the fact that his sister's ex had molested her son, and not sure of her friends online, etc, we decided to error on the side of caution and respectively ask people not to post pictures of our children online. I have asked friends, my side of the family, as well as pastors from my parents church to remove photos of us and not to post pictures of us, etc. Everyone has complied, respectively seeing we are just trying to protect our children.
Well, several months before he passed, I asked his mom nicely to please remove the photos, explained our concerns etc. She became on the defensive and instead, posted more pictures. I got chewed out by various family members for "attacking her" again. Then within that week, the rest of his family posted pictures of our children on thier site. Knowing we didn't have alot of time with Jason, and not wanting to waste his precious time on a fight about this that was brewing, I said nothing, and told myself I'd deal with this once he was passed, but right now, no matter how much of an a$$ they were being, he needed his family, so I let it go for the time being.
Well, this past week, instead of getting into a confronting argument and having to go to each one of them and having this unpleasant conversation in which they would, no doubt, berate me again, I chose just to report the photos of unauthorized underage children to fb.
Well, fb not only took the photos down, but also evidentally contacted each one of them and let them know that they had been reported and by WHOM.
Yeah, I've been getting nasty PM's and stuff on FB now. Let the shit fly! Here we go again!
Then if that doesn't beat all, a niece of mine was asking where my photos were. I explained that I was having a hard time with his side of the family concerning pictures so I took them down. Her response was, "You mean, I can't use one of your photos of your daughter for my cover photo on fb?"
UGH! And don't get me started on my parents!
Suffice it to say, I am done with family, and can't wait to have a complete break from them all. I am not partial to either side. I need drama and stress, and emotionally taxing.. FREE!
:/ vent over