Status
Not open for further replies.

MaxEidswick

Legendary member
Joined
Sep 1, 2013
Messages
5,567
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
08/2013
Country
US
State
Texas
City
Pinehurst
Diary of a Mad Snow Shoveler
December 8: 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape.What a fantastic sight! Can there be a lovelier place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea we've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!

December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry; we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14: Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish l wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15: 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out.I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my a** on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17: Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20: Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Goddamn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22: Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white sh** fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss. By the time got undressed, pissed, and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the a**hole is lying.

December 23: Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she nuts?! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24: 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a ***** who drives that snowplow, 'I'll drag him through the snow by his balls.I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching for the goddamn snowplow.

December 25: Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the f***ing slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to watch" It's a Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to kill her.

December 26: Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27: Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.

December 28: Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. THE B***CH is driving me crazy!

December 29: 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30: Roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me for a million dollars. The wife went home to her mother. 9" predicted.

December 31: Set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8: I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?
 

HeatherFeather

Distinguished member
Joined
Nov 30, 2014
Messages
284
Reason
CALS
Diagnosis
10/2014
Country
CA
State
Quebec
City
Tiny town w/no stoplight!
Hahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa!:lol:
 

gooseberry

Extremely helpful member
Joined
Jul 2, 2014
Messages
3,457
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
5/2014
Country
US
State
FL
City
Tampa
I remember times that felt like that Max!
 

Gembead

Senior member
Joined
Oct 11, 2014
Messages
592
Reason
Loved one DX
Diagnosis
10/2014
Country
Aus
State
Western Australia
City
Bridgetown
Very funny, I have never been in snow but I think my first few days of seeing snow would be romantic ones as well.
Love Gem
 

affected

Guru status reached
Joined
Apr 26, 2013
Messages
14,137
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
05/2013
Country
OZ
State
AU
City
lala land
I know right Gem!

I've never even had a particular wish to see snow, well maybe for a short time on a holiday, but I've sure never understood how people can live with the stuff.

Obviously most are far better suited to it than the man in this story ... ;)
 

tripete

Senior member
Joined
Dec 5, 2014
Messages
998
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
12/2014
Country
US
State
PA
City
Lancaster
Love the snow, send it here even with the plow man! Born and raised in Upstate NY where we used to get the most annual snow fall of anywhere in the continental US.
 

davbo49

Senior member
Joined
Sep 18, 2014
Messages
603
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
04/2014
Country
US
State
kanas
City
kanas
it's up and down here. i think we seen some snow but it was gone so fast were you was lucking to even see it.
 

gooseberry

Extremely helpful member
Joined
Jul 2, 2014
Messages
3,457
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
5/2014
Country
US
State
FL
City
Tampa
Pete did you live south of buffalo or on the tughill plateau? We are from the plattsburgh area
 

MaxEidswick

Legendary member
Joined
Sep 1, 2013
Messages
5,567
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
08/2013
Country
US
State
Texas
City
Pinehurst
I first read this after flying into Munich from
joburg with a terrible chest infection. it hurt. when I read this email, i couldn't stop reading/laughing and thought I would die from the pain :)
 

swalker

Very helpful member
Joined
Dec 11, 2014
Messages
1,426
Reason
DX MND
Diagnosis
07/2014
Country
US
State
CO
City
Vail
I laughed really hard when reading this!

We live where it snows a lot (300 inches a year). We have a plow service for the driveway, which is great. We have to shovel the deck ourselves and it is quite large. The deck might collapse if we did not shovel it, and we need access the hot tub all winter long. Of course, my wife does the shoveling now.

This story hits a bit close to home!

Steve
 

4tloml

Senior member
Joined
Sep 15, 2014
Messages
576
Reason
CALS
Diagnosis
04/2013
Country
US
State
CA
City
Suburban
Laughed SO hard! I can't even drive in the stuff. Just gorgeous...in the pictures.
 

davbo49

Senior member
Joined
Sep 18, 2014
Messages
603
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
04/2014
Country
US
State
kanas
City
kanas
this was last year. so far not much yet this year. but that's all right. were all hills here.
 

guguy

Active member
Joined
Jul 5, 2010
Messages
62
Reason
Friend was DX
Diagnosis
00/0000
Country
US
State
HA
City
None
Love the snow, send it here even with the plow man! Born and raised in Upstate NY where we used to get the most annual snow fall of anywhere in the continental US.

The last year that I lived in Upstate NY, Rochester had 180 inches of snow and Buffalo had 200. I moved to Florida before spring and haven't lived in a snow state since 1978. It is nice on Christmas but a pain in the butt the rest of the season. Falling down on my back on an icy sidewalk or worse stairs, can't get the snowblower started, too many people who think they know how to drive on icy roads, frozen water pipes, and I could go on and on. Max I love your post as it is so true. In Upstate people were so starved for warm weather they would put their car's convertible top down when it warmed up to 45 degrees (I was one of them).
 

MaxEidswick

Legendary member
Joined
Sep 1, 2013
Messages
5,567
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
08/2013
Country
US
State
Texas
City
Pinehurst
>Max I love your post as it is so true. In Upstate people were so starved for warm weather they would put their car's convertible top down when it warmed up to 45 degrees (I was one of them).

me 2 -- in mi I
was in shorts & body shirt at 40f warm :)
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top