diagnosed Aug 12, 2022

[Andvari]

I have a psychologist and a psychiatrist because my primary wouldn't write me a script for chantix to quit smoking... no cigarettes since November 26 woo hoo!!! They both are shocked at my positive attitude toward life and have asked me what my secret is. This isn't a get even kind of thing, it is more like someone has to do something about this matter and it may as well be me.

 

[affected]

But Tomswife with the medical POA you have to follow his wishes as set our in his living will. It is an awful burden otherwise.
Have you done a living will?
The ones we do here in Australia are a pretty good checklist.

 

[Mary2]

Andvari: Good for you, quitting smoking! Way to go!

 

[affected]

Yes, no more smoking, that's so fantastic!

 

[MupstateNY]

Great discussion.

Affected, you wrote

Have you done a living will?
The ones we do here in Australia are a pretty good checklist.

Could you post the Aussie checklist, please?

Also, you said your husband went to hospital for pneumonia treatment, but then decided he wouldn't repeat that experience. Can you or someone else give me an idea what that would be like? My spouse was not a whole lot of help when I was in galloping labor, so I will need to spell things out for him.

I am thinking I would probably take the feeding tube; I don't think I would want a tracheotomy; if there's some crisis where I'd be unlikely to recover, that's an easy decision.

Andvari, thanks for explaining. I wonder if you would find it rewarding to work with a journalist who would keep you anonymous?

Congrats on the smoking victory!

 

[affected]

Mupstate here is a link to it

https://www.health.nsw.gov.au/patients/acp/Publications/acd-form-info-book.pdf

As it turned out, while Chris did have pneumonia at the very end, he was already in a state of actively dying. The pneumonia started in the last 24-30 hours as he was taking no food or fluids and was heavily sedated, and as per his wishes I tended to him at home. I was always comfortable to do this and had his clear wishes.

Others are not so comfortable and again, sorting this out sooner than later really takes a lot of pressure off.
I know that when this hasn't been clearly defined, a lot of CALS suffer anxiety over what will happen and what will they do. I would bet the PALS also have concerns on how things will be handled. There are no universal right or wrongs, but both knowing what you want, and I suggest ensuring close family also know really helps (they can pressure a CALS to override your wishes).

 

[lgelb]

Five Wishes, Compassion & Choices, and your state's DNR, advance directive, and/or POLST are good places to start.