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AngelaRenee

Active member
Joined
Sep 11, 2012
Messages
66
Reason
Loved one DX
Country
US
State
Ohio
Things with mom are progressing. She has trouble getting food stuck in her teeth, she sips through a straw and still manages to smoke cigarettes with her right hand that gets weaker everyday. We know smoking is not the best thing for her but its one of the only things she can do independently with us watching her so she doesn't drop the cigarette. I too have picked up smoking after my boyfriend and i quit for four years. He does not know I do and I feel guilty but im so depressed.my mom is 51 and I am 23 years old. I have a father that tries his best to take care of her and the house after he works his 9-6 demanding job. My sister sits with her on Wednesday but all the other weekdays I am there. I fix her food light her cigarettes help her take the little steps she can help with showering food range of motion excersize etc. My mom and I are closer than ever since she was diagnosed. She slurs and I cant imagine the day she looses her voice. I try to get her out of the house but its difficult. I am overwhelmed. My father is overwhelmed. Now he has all the responsibilities. I work at a retail store on the weekends but lately it seems more of a hassle to work on the weekend s while all my friends are living it up. Im sorry all I do is come to the forum to vent. Thank you all for reading. Its good to have support on here.
 

johnnyliverpool1

Distinguished member
Joined
Jul 5, 2011
Messages
473
Country
uk
State
moved back to blighty
your doing a fabulous job...caring is tough as tough can be...........harsh as it might seem, you will get your life back one day......you are a good kid..........johnny
 

Katie C

Very helpful member
Joined
Aug 1, 2009
Messages
1,560
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
07/2009
Country
US
State
CA
Johnny's right... you're doing a great job in a difficult situation. If you're feeling depressed, and the usual "get some exercise, watch your diet" aren't doing it for you, you might tell your doctor what's going on in your life and see about getting some antidepressants... they're better for you than the cigarettes! (having watched my mom die of emphysema and lung cancer and smoking the whole time...) Remember to take some time for you ... I know it's hard but it will help you keep going.

Hang in there.. you're doing great...
 

Barbie

Extremely helpful member
Joined
Dec 29, 2007
Messages
2,659
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
01/2007
Country
US
State
FL
You have taken on much more than most 23 year olds will ever face. give your self a pat on the back and do not be too hard on your self. But please, please put down those cigarettes! For your mom--it doesn't matter and is a small pleasure but you are young and have to think of your future. If it is too hard for you to give up right now, how about getting an E-cigarette. Talk to your doctor about the smoking and the depression. You have a lot on your plate right now and antidepressants can really help you.

Does your mom have a walker or wheelchair or scooter? that would make it easier to get her out of the house once in a while.

hang in there-we understand and are here for you

B
 

LizT

Very helpful member
Joined
Aug 8, 2010
Messages
1,517
Reason
Lost a loved one
Country
US
State
WI
I starting taking care of my PALS (my fiance) when I was 24. He died the day after I turned 29. In that time, I started getting gray hair, I smoked, I put on 40lbs, I could hardly ever relax, and i was always tired. And this was only taking care of him for 8 hours a day. I got to go home at the end of the day. Dont get me wrong- we had an amazing relationship and had many many wonderful times together. I would do anything to get it back.
There isnt much of a point to my post, other than to tell you i sure can relate. You truly ARE doing an amazing job. And i promise you, when all of this is said and done, you will be so grateful that you did all that you did. It means the world to your mom and your Dad. But yes, even though you most likely wont be able to fully relax, you do need to find some time for yourself. Maybe hire someone to come in, even if its just for 4 hours once or twice a week. It will help.
Oh. And about the speech issues... there are alphabet boards that can be used if your Mom doesnt have access to a speech device.
Best of luck
 

skipper66

Very helpful member
Joined
May 20, 2012
Messages
1,478
Reason
Lost a loved one
Country
US
State
IL
Hi AngelaRenee,
I wanted to chime in and to tell you that it sounds like you are doing a wonderful job helping your parents. I lost my mother 15 1/2 years ago to colon cancer. So, I know what it's like to see your mother suffer. I had to be put on the antipressant a few months after she passed away because I went into a very deep depression. I also had just given birth to twins. You might benefit from a very low dose of a antidepressent. I heard from several heavy smokers who quit that the electronic cigarette is a lifesaver. Please give it a try for your own health. Feel free to vent on here anytime. We care and will listen. Kim
 

CasaHopkins

Member
Joined
Apr 13, 2010
Messages
15
Country
US
State
IL
Please, please go see your doctor and tell him/her what you are going through and ask specifically for either antidepressants or anti anxiety medication. I promise it will help! My husbands illness has finally gotten to be more than I can handle without chemicals and I'm not ashamed to admit it. It takes strength to admit your limits. May you continue to have the grace to serve your mother through her illness! Love and light to you!
 

Austrian Sinto

New member
Joined
May 2, 2013
Messages
4
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
02/2013
Country
AUT
State
Austria Europe
Dear Angela Renee,
I am 50 years old and from Austria/Europe (no Kangooroos, but cows!) and in this moment I am the first time here on this homepage and in this forum. I am diagnosed ALS in february this year and feel that I am going to be weaker and weaker. My English is not very good, but what I understand here is, that you are a great young woman. I have no children but some good friends. NOW I know that they are good friends. I´d like to have a daughter like you standing by me etc. also just to share the last time with somebody who likes me. Your Mom has somebody ... like you. What can somebody do more? But I would also say that you should have something just for you - to be away from all the desaster, from the sometimes depressing being together etc.. I would (lovely) throw you out of the house to have some private fun, just as you like it or think to need it. I think (especially with ALS) it is important to have a good time together, whatever it is. Since I can think I like the birds singing, the sounds of the flowing river, the laughing/quarrling/jumping children, playing animals etc. - now I like this more than ever. It fills me with live in the HERE and NOW. I like fresh air in my lungs and sun and rain on my skin. But the best is: nice people around.
I know I write a bit confused, this and that and this and that, I have not finished the thinking and feeling about my own desease, many things are open for me, future was planned COMPLETELY different. But the line through all is: you are great. I cannot take away you depressive feelings, although I would like to do. I think only you can get up, stand up, fire it up. Ok, i did not want to be political :)
So I wish you from my heart to be strong enough not to break down - or to stand up again. We all can fall down in life, I think the important thing is to stand up again.
Bye bye
Thomas Weiss
 

ottawa girl

Very helpful member
Joined
Jun 14, 2012
Messages
1,506
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
04/2012
Country
CA
State
Ontario
Thomas the Austrian

Welcome! Sorry for your illness, but glad you are here for support, information and friendship. There is nothing at all wrong with your English... It's far better than my German!

"Standing up again"... So well said. Thank you for the reminder.
 

sunewun

Active member
Joined
Jun 22, 2012
Messages
80
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
06/2012
Country
US
State
TENNESSEE
Hugs to you Angela for being there for your mom but please find some time for yourself. It will keep you sane. We are here if you just need to vent some.

Thomas, welcome. I know Angela will appreciate your good advice.
 

AngelaRenee

Active member
Joined
Sep 11, 2012
Messages
66
Reason
Loved one DX
Country
US
State
Ohio
Thank you all for the support and kind words. Sometimes I just need reassuring I suppose.
 

AngelaRenee

Active member
Joined
Sep 11, 2012
Messages
66
Reason
Loved one DX
Country
US
State
Ohio
I am still a little weary about anti-depressants. My doctor did prescribe a low dose anti depressant that I have not taken yet. I hear bad and good things from other people. Thats good to know that it is helping you!
 
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