Status
Not open for further replies.

sironside

Active member
Joined
Apr 2, 2008
Messages
30
Country
US
State
md
City
salisbury
It's so hard waiting for the tests and not knowing what's wrong with me. I get the EMG friday and I have mixed feelings about it. I'm scared to know the results and yet I feel that friday is so far away. I feel like one night I'm just going to stop breathing before they figure out what's going on. I have a history of major depression and now I'm not on any medicine for it. Now I think I'm back in that hole, and even worse, I think about suicide some days now. I haven't eaten in a week, i can't sleep, I'm already under 100 pounds, and my family is being less than supportive. Today is a bad day.
 

nspoc

Distinguished member
Joined
Mar 24, 2007
Messages
113
Reason
CALS
Country
US
State
Illinois
City
Olympia Fields
Hi -

Run, don't walk, to your doctor. Get back on your meds. Depression is a terrible form of suffering. If you do have ALS (and I pray that you do not), then you will have enough pain to deal with.

PLEASE treat the depression. Treat whatever is treatable - keep trying til you are better. You do not deserve this added layer of suffering.

Beth
 

happy

Distinguished member
Joined
Feb 11, 2008
Messages
203
Reason
Learn about ALS
Country
US
State
CA
City
Fair Oaks
I am with nspoc, please, go get help. It's too much stress for you to handle alone. It's okay to ask for help.
Robin
 

sironside

Active member
Joined
Apr 2, 2008
Messages
30
Country
US
State
md
City
salisbury
No one's around to ask for help. I called my family and they think I'm exaggerating. I still can't breathe right and I'm so weak from not eating all week. I'm so dizzy. I feel like I should go to the ER again but I've already been there 3 times within the last month and they send me away without helping. My breathing is getting worse especially when I try to stand. The neurologist told me to go to the ER if I have breathing problems and get a pulmonary function test until she can give me an EMG friday or figure out what's wrong. I'm too exhausted to even try to get food to eat. And on top of that I'm really depressed and want to cry all day but can't because I'm just too weak. I'm already under 100 pounds, lost 5 just this weak. No one is home except me.
 

sironside

Active member
Joined
Apr 2, 2008
Messages
30
Country
US
State
md
City
salisbury
Well, I told my husband about my feelings and he said "go ahead, if you want to commit suicide, stop manipulating me" and went back to work.
 

fiddleplayer51

Distinguished member
Joined
Mar 24, 2008
Messages
337
Diagnosis
03/2008
Country
US
State
VA
City
Harrisonburg
Sironside,
I'm so sorry about your frightening symptoms. Is there any way you could rest in the school infirmary and least have someone around you? What do your nursing instructors say about your difficulty? I should think they especially would be sympathetic. How far away is your family and what nursing school are you attending? Please try to get somewhere where you can get help.
Jane
 

sironside

Active member
Joined
Apr 2, 2008
Messages
30
Country
US
State
md
City
salisbury
I'm at home today, school tomorrow. One of my nursing instructors told me I'm too young for serious diseases and the other, after telling her I had an MRI but I still had my symptoms, told me I may need psych meds. Stress seems to be what they think I'm having and they are not sympathetic. My father is 2 hours away and my mother is in South Carolina. I don't have siblings or any other family members around. Just my mother in law who seems to have a similar attitude as my husband. My symptoms depress me today, my family's uncaring attitude will depress me tomorrow. My husband hid my Prozac, which I had just started for 5 days, and now I have not had it in my system for 3 days. I feel like I'm backed into a corner with no way out (no support system, debilitating symptoms, no Dx, school finals) and in the past, I've actually attempted suicide when I felt this way for too long (4 years ago). I haven't attempted anything yet, just random thoughts of being at peace.
 

cukita99

Distinguished member
Joined
Jun 12, 2007
Messages
361
Reason
PALS
Country
US
State
tx
City
el paso
please get help, ur to young. everything has a solution, taking ur life is not one.
 

vmd

Senior member
Joined
Apr 27, 2007
Messages
581
Reason
Other
Country
US
State
idaho
City
N/A
sironside:

Like the others, I believe you need to contact a counselor regarding your depressive state and suicidal ideation. You can always call the National Suicide Help Line if your situation degenerates further:

1-800-273-TALK (8255)


Please keep us posted and know that all of us here are praying for you and care deeply about your welfare.
 

sironside

Active member
Joined
Apr 2, 2008
Messages
30
Country
US
State
md
City
salisbury
You guys, how can I get help when my own mother, a psychiatrist, is telling me my symptoms are in my head and that if I don't get it together, she won't talk to me? My whole family is against me. I am talking to a counselor, and I feel better for about an hour after talking to her, then I just feel like this again. And the depression is getting deeper. I keep feeling like I should go to the ER because my symptoms are getting worse but they will only send me away without helping. I haven't been able to eat in the last week because of nausea and I'm under 100 pounds at 5'2 already, and I can't breathe right. I scared I'll either die from respiratory arrest or malnutrition one of these days.
 

Icanmanz

Senior member
Joined
Jul 14, 2007
Messages
947
Reason
PALS
Country
Uni
State
Texas
City
Tomball
Wow, sironside! Hey dear, may I have your real name, given name, or whatever you want to call it? I don't want to keep calling you "ironside", it reminds me of Raymond Burr. Anyway, what's the deal with your husband? What if he were in your shoes? If he really told you that, dump him! What a heel! All I know is that you are way too young (22 yrs) to be going through this mess. I may be wrong, but I have never heard of Als striking at a tender age of 22 yrs! Anything is possible nowadays, but Jesus Christ, don't let that guy treat you like dirt! May God bless you!

Irma
 

happy

Distinguished member
Joined
Feb 11, 2008
Messages
203
Reason
Learn about ALS
Country
US
State
CA
City
Fair Oaks
sironside....
Listen, Just hang in there, go to the ER. Keep going until they look further into your symtoms. Anytime you have breathing problems you should go to the hospital. While you are there tell them that because of what you are going through you are have suicidal ideations. They will help you. There they can treat your weakness too, maybe you need fluids on top of everything else.
As far as your husband, shame on him. shame on your mom too. I went through the same thing with my family, I could not prove my symptoms so everyone thought I was stretching the truth.If you dont' feel well you know your body. I know how incredibly frustrating it is. It hurts so bad..just remember you are not alone. call your pharmacy and have them do a precription refill request. Then your doctor will refill your Prozac. Please keep us posted. I hate to hear you are suffering. I am praying for you tonight. I hope you get good rest.

Robin
 

Peg B

Distinguished member
Joined
Nov 5, 2006
Messages
414
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
10/2006
Country
US
State
Michigan
City
Flint
sironside

Hi - You have been given good advice here. I want to add that if you keep going to your husband, mother, mother in law etc and get the same message then you need to go somewhere else. Did you call the suicide hot line? They can refer you to help in your area. At 22 you have lots of good things ahead of you, but you must allow yourself the hope. Your parents gave you life, but now it is truely up to you.

Parent thyself. If you had a child, would you treat your child the way your mother has treated you? Be your own best friend and your own best advocate and get some help now. Let us know how you are. Sincerely, Peg
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top