- Dec 3, 2013
Dad has been strong through all of this and at times stubborn but then again I have his genes so I have been just as stuborn at times sometimes to the benefit of us both he finally went along and sometimes we locked horns but we have gotten through it but this time I am not for things are ultimately his decisions. Over the last couple of weeks he has started to turn away from food more and more. This is partially because of swallowing issues and partially because he says he is just to tired to eat. We try to substitute boost shakes and such but he is only halfway drinking those. We had several issues with nightmares this past weekend making him very restless but eventually we were able to get him settled. We think this is because he has been having to take a good bit more morphine to aid his breathing as it appears to have gotten worse. We are now under the nurses advice giving him some Ativan at night to help him relax and rest. Last night was scary, I came in and checked on him as I usually do before going to bed and noticed I needed to adjust his mask (surprise surprise) but I simply could not get him to rouse up. He was dead asleep even through me lifting his head to pull the strap off. He finally after a few minutes of trying came around and halfway opened his eyes and responed to my questions. I know the more time that passes the closer we come to the end but damn it is so painful to watch. Just venting my thought s and getting them out. Hope everyone is doing as well as they can!