Decluttering revisited

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Nikki J

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We have talked about decluttering before. An issue a lot of us struggle with is that we don’t want to let go of things from our “ before” lives even if we know we can never use them again. I still think if the items aren’t taking up space needed for something current it is an ok thing if it makes you happy.

I encountered a new-to-me concept that seems to describe it - fantasy self- as in decluttering your fantasy self Healthy people do it too and for them that decluttering is important. It refers to keeping items that theoretically you would us if….. examples were clothes that don’t fit anymore or were for lifestyles you don’t live ( formal party clothes if you live a casual lifestyle, a whole wardrobe of business attire when your job doesn’t require it) craft projects you will never finish or start, kitchen equipment for fancy meals you won’t cook

i decluttered some craft things a while back ( they were always fantasy Nikki). I am going to look again at my belongings through this lens. I still don’t expect to declutter the three pairs of “ normal” shoes but maybe the kitchen things can be addressed. Even before some of them were probably fantasy too 😀
 

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Clothes that don't fit or were for lifestyles I don't live are always my hardest thing to declutter, and I don't even own that many clothes! Why is that? Well I do laugh at myself about it. I must say that since we did the very first decluttering here, I don't know how many years back I did address that pretty well and now that is my goto when I declutter. If I've still not used it since that first decluttering it, I have a far better chance of shifting it this time.
I started doing this in my office again just last week Nikki and it is so freeing when you do let things go!
I'm laughing so hard tho at craft things being fantasy Nikki, I'm definitely going to add the fantasy layer in to my efforts 😂
 

lisa g

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Decluttering, is a bad word in my house. We have too much of everything. I let go of things easier than my husband who has serious separation anxiety. He'll say he's ready to downsize but then becomes overwhelmed with the thought of parting with things. I'm not that much better but I tend to let go easier. I look at my closet and think who needs this much? I could probably go 6-7 months and never wear the same outfit twice. Shoes is another biggie. When I was diagnosed I found it necessary to give up cute shoes for practical shoes, so anything with a heel or wedge had to go for safety reasons. But instead of limiting shoes I've replaced all the shoes I gave away with low flats and sneakers. I did save one pair of cute heels that I can put on when I'm in a PWC for prosperity.

Getting rid of clutter is going to be at the top of list again of things to do while I still can instead of regretting what should have been done. I like the idea of the fantasy layer.
 

Nikki J

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Good luck Tillie. I know you did well last time.
Lisa declutter is a struggle for many. It is hard for us too because of the letting go of normal us. I ended up buying quite a few new shoes in my search for something that would work with the afo that I didn’t hate. I actually just decluttered a few yesterday because I have a better source now

before when we talked about declutter we talked a lot about Marie Kondo and only keeping what brings you joy. Her concept helped me quite a bit. I had to modify her method though because it involved doing whole categories at once. The idea is sound but doing so much at once was impossible. I had to do multiple subcategories

the other thing I find is progression brings a need for recurring decluttering when I can’t use something anymore. I am a work in progress!
 

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I always think of you when doing any decluttering Nikki because I came to it all through your posts many years back, so it has a nice association for me 🤗

I love the concept of categories, but I think it is important for each person to decide what a category is, and like you I broke my categories down into sub-categories so that I could manage a task. I think that makes her approach work perfectly.

@lisa g the approach we use really assists with letting go in a positive way and it has truly helped me not build things up again the same way so far after years!
 

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Just want to say I think this is a sweet thread and I found the concept of "fantasy Nikki" very intriguing... causing me to be pretty introspective. I have a whole lot of "fantasy Jon" decluttering decision making that I have been working through for several months, and in all likelihood, will continue to be dealing with for a while. I just hope "fantasy Jon" doesn't win.
 

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Jon have you read any of Marie Kondo? There is a lot of stuff by her now, but I got an ebook and followed the method and it really worked for me! Tell fantasy Jon to give it a try 😂
 

Nikki J

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Agree that Marie Kondo is worth a read. You can likely get her book from the library. get the first one and if you need more depth the second. The first especially is a very quick read. it is a different way of approaching clutter

as far as the fantasy self there are youtube videos talking about the concept. The few I saw mostly gave examples and talked about their experiences so if you already understand it you probably don’t need to watch
 

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The Marie Kondo suggestion is an interesting one. Our daughter encouraged me to watch the TV show... one episode in particular that she thought fit my situation. I didn't realize Marie had written books as well. Since I have yet to watch the TV show, and probably won't, I will get a copy of that first book of hers. Thanks.

I'm actually working through our house one room at a time, doing some nice makeovers and jettisoning stuff I no longer plan to use. It's not like there is a narrow pathway through our kitchen through walls of junk stacked to the ceiling, or you have to walk over old toasters, piles of unopened paper towels, and hummel figurines and accessories to get from the front door to the living room. As I'm sure is the case for many of us, it's all the excess stuff tucked away in cabinets, closets, up attic and in the basement. Our house was always quite tidy, but there is just a boat load of stuff that mostly needs to go to Goodwill. You should see all the nuts and bolts, screws, fasteners, and all kinds of hardware miscellany I have in the basement, presently not well organized. The reality is I can almost always find what I need for a project, but it wouldn't break the bank if I had none of it and had to run out to the hardware store each time. Finding the balance with things like that is one small thing I find challenging. I want the house lean and mean when I bite the dust so our kids don't have to deal with it... and I'm confident I'll get there.
 

Nikki J

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I watched a series of Netflix ( I think the first one). To me it didn’t convey her method well at all but nothing was applicable still I think you will get more out of the book

your house sounds like that of my parents. Thank you for addressing it now for your children. Cleaning out my parents’ house was very difficult. Please don’t keep too much of the hardware. My dad had his brilliantly organized with multiple container with small drawers meticulously labeled in a drawer for each size and type of screw nail and other little items. It was still something to dispose of. I was lucky that a friend who is very handy took them. Now his kids will have to declutter them some day!
 

Nikki J

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I happened across this How to Practice

the writer has some fantasy possessions ( 12 champagne glasses individually etched) and there are other themes including passing along things that will give the new owner joy and the fear that you are burdening the new owner
 

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Almost had to run out for some picture hanging hooks, but found some in the junk drawer last minute. Hoarding pays off! ;-}

Kidding on that last part. First part true.
 

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I have been trying to organize papers in the office for months! My PALS wanted to keep every paper and I just can't organize all this paper! Now I am the one that has to go through it all! Same with the "bonus room"....filled with stuff. He would never sort through his stuff. I guess I will be sorting through it now! Overwhelming!
 

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Yeah my Chris was a hoarder. I found it easier to clear out his stuff after he passed because I had no connection to it. So if his kids didn't want it, and I didn't know what it was ... simple.
Cleaning out my own stuff is what takes a good method as we get connected to things in some strange ways!
 

Nikki J

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Mary papers are particularly tough. Marie Kondo puts them in one of the last categories because of this. They are very labor intensive and it takes a lot of work to see results. I am glad that we are moving ( somewhat) to a paperless society.

I do feel as if the computer age has helped a lot not just with paperwork but ebooks and digital music and photos. Before those things took up a lot of physical space and aside from books you needed equipment to make them work. My parents had records and slides! ( and photos and CDs but they kept the records as they had an extensive collection)
 
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