Hello Anne,
I'm so sorry for the sense of not quite knowing what to do or say that you are experiencing with your daughter. Having raised three girls I can relate to the sporadic willingness of your daughter to communicate. Sometimes they open up and sometimes they don't. Of course, as time goes on, I'm sure your 17-year old will communicate more, and it could be that she can't at present articulate how she is feeling and needs to mull it over for an indefinite period of time before she is ready to express her feelings. She may not even know what she's feeling.
Is it possible for the two of you to go off somewhere away from the immediacy of home with its ever-present reminders of father/husband? Getting away sometimes helps us clarify our feelings. Often it's helpful if the area we retreat to is a neutral area that has no connection with our loved one. Sometimes the opposite is true, and it's more helpful to visit an area that was a favorite place to go with our loved one. Your daughter may be able to talk about what's on her mind if she can get away from where her father died for a while. She may need to step outside the immediacy of home for a while so she can begin to collect her thoughts.
It's too bad about the boy that dumped her. That certainly doesn't help matters.
Good luck, Anne. I'll keep you in my thoughts. Take care and blessings to you both.
Jane