Dark Days

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starente15

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NJ
I've been home for three weeks tomorrow. Just got the call that I should plan to come back in the next 24 hours as my dad is exhibiting signs of approaching death. I am so angry right now. Not only did we watch him suffer for the past three months, my mother is showing signs of possible dementia and things with her get worse each day. She's not eating, taking her meds and we're not even sure if she has a true sense of reality. Just feeling hopeless and helpless right now.
 

Atsugi

Legendary member
Joined
Jan 11, 2011
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5,173
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
12/2010
Country
US
State
Florida
I've been home for three weeks tomorrow. Just got the call that I should plan to come back in the next 24 hours as my dad is exhibiting signs of approaching death. I am so angry right now. Not only did we watch him suffer for the past three months, my mother is showing signs of possible dementia and things with her get worse each day. She's not eating, taking her meds and we're not even sure if she has a true sense of reality. Just feeling hopeless and helpless right now.
This is really rough, I know. Sometimes it seems like there's no break.

Your dad's caregiver should be able to push morphine to ensure there is no suffering.
 

gooseberry

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Jul 2, 2014
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3,457
Reason
Lost a loved one
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Hugs to you star. It is never easy when your parents are dying. I wish I had something inspired to tell you but I have nothing. I have simply taken it one day at a time. We are here for you. Steph
 

scaredwifetx

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Joined
Jul 25, 2015
Messages
1,571
Reason
CALS
Diagnosis
07/2015
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US
State
tx
I am so truly sorry Star. I am also hoping your mother is just heart broken and overwhelmed right now and therefore displaying these behaviors. I also wish I could find something to say to make you feel better. Just know we are here and you are in our thoughts.
 

affected

Guru status reached
Joined
Apr 26, 2013
Messages
11,529
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
05/2013
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OZ
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home
Oh star, I've been thinking of you so much today and now just logged in.

I am SO SORRY.

Get to your dad, you won't regret that - this is the only thing that matters just now, we will deal with the rest later and be here for you.
 

cheerleader

Senior member
Joined
Jul 6, 2013
Messages
977
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
08/2012
Country
US
State
Midwest
Star, this is one of life's double whammies! One day at a time, my dear. Your mom may simply be overwhelmed (and heartsick!) and may bounce back. Just do what you have always done, and be there. So hard when you are far away. Hugs to you. Donna
 

gooseberry

Extremely helpful member
Joined
Jul 2, 2014
Messages
3,457
Reason
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Stress makes you forgetful . They have been married a long time. Your mom is probably having incredible stress and anxiety.....as we all would. Hugs to you !
 

sunnysierra

Active member
Joined
Oct 10, 2015
Messages
60
Reason
CALS
Diagnosis
10/2115
Country
US
State
New Mexico
Star, you are in my thoughts as you journey forth to be with your parents. I have also felt hopeless and helpless with regard to parents. My mom died in May. Take it moment by moment. Practice deep breathing and make sure to drink plenty of water. You are running a marathon of sorts so air and water are vital. We are with you in spirit. Kathleen
 

bear1973

Distinguished member
Joined
Mar 12, 2015
Messages
129
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
05/2015
Country
CA
State
Ontario
"This too shall Pass" That is easy to say, although these dark days will eventually become lighter. No question you have a lot on your plate right now. It sounds though, that this may be the roughest spot - hard to say though. Know though, that you will have brighter days ahead
 

starente15

Senior member
Joined
Oct 27, 2014
Messages
807
Reason
Lost a loved one
Country
US
State
NJ
Thank you everyone for your thoughts and support. We leave tomorrow afternoon. I told my brother to tell him we're on the way.
 

Nikki J

Moderator
Joined
Mar 22, 2012
Messages
7,250
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
04/2014
Country
US
State
MA
Safe travels. May he find peace. I have walked this path. I lost my dad after a long illness while my mom was in the throes of FTD/ALS. You will get through this and she may well rebound after as others have said
 

Nuts

Forum Supporter
Very helpful member
Joined
Feb 23, 2014
Messages
2,486
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
01/2014
Country
US
State
North Carolina
My heart goes with you, Star. Please keep us posted, and we will hold out for stress being the issue with your mom.
 

Gembead

Senior member
Joined
Oct 11, 2014
Messages
592
Reason
Loved one DX
Diagnosis
10/2014
Country
Aus
State
Western Australia
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers
Love Gem
 

lgelb

Forum Supporter
Moderator
Joined
Nov 5, 2009
Messages
7,262
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
09/2009
Country
US
State
WA
Thinking of you, Star. The strength to prevent unnecessary suffering is within all of us, for the finding.
--Laurie
 

frankb

Senior member
Joined
Jun 8, 2011
Messages
525
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
10/2010
Country
US
State
Georgia
You have been through a lot, Star. Please remember to take care of yourself, and travel safely.
 
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