mrstadpole
Member
- Joined
- Sep 12, 2007
- Messages
- 28
- Reason
- Loved one DX
- Country
- US
- State
- California
- City
- Cathderal City
Hi everyone!
My dad was diagnosed last October and has progressed very quickly. He is now using a walker all the time, has a brace for his right leg, cannot speak and is losing the use of his left arm. He chokes constantly and is getting closer to finally scheduling the surgery for a feeding tube. Anyway.. I just received a very disturbing email from him explaining that he is going to talk to his Case Manager (for MDA) about being moved to a "home" rather than staying in the house he currently lives in with the woman who is getting paid $1600 a month from the government to take care of him (she's a "professional/certified caregiver). I learned that the reason he wants to do this is because she is only bathing him once a week, doesn't take him to his regular doctor (she has decided that he can see someone closer to home), doesn't help him run any of his arrands or help to get him out of the house.. only on Sunday.. to go to church. He said she makes his dinner for him a week at a time so he can heat it up in the microwave (if he can manage to make it across the house), so he doesn't eat half the time because it's too much effort. Which means he is losing too much weight and the doctors are even more worried about him. On top of all of this.. She works a full time job and isn't even home Monday - Friday, 9am -5pm AND she charges my dad $400 a month rent.. he only gets $900 from SDI. Did I miss something or does this just seem like someone taking advantage of him?
I am seriously considering rearranging my life so he can come live with my family. Am I crazy for thinking this? I don't know if I can handle it.. I mean, the emotional challange is what I am afraid of. I know I would have to learn to do so many things to take care of him.. but I can't accept the fact that this woman.. who, mind you, he has been friends with since before his diagnosed, is doing this to him. There are no other family members to take care of him. Our family's story isn't a pretty one.. but there really is just my family left to make sure the last days that he has are the best he's ever had.. what do I do? Please.. am I nuts? Can I do it? Do I need to be certified? I would still have to work full time to support my family.. but if I was receiving funds for now being his caregiver, couldn't I hire a nurse to come into my home a few hours a day to help?
I'm sorry for all the questions and the rambling.. my wheels are spinning and I didn't know where else to go. Remember Star Wars? Yeah, well... "help me, Obi Wan Kanobie.. you're my only hope!"
Thanks, much!
Kari
My dad was diagnosed last October and has progressed very quickly. He is now using a walker all the time, has a brace for his right leg, cannot speak and is losing the use of his left arm. He chokes constantly and is getting closer to finally scheduling the surgery for a feeding tube. Anyway.. I just received a very disturbing email from him explaining that he is going to talk to his Case Manager (for MDA) about being moved to a "home" rather than staying in the house he currently lives in with the woman who is getting paid $1600 a month from the government to take care of him (she's a "professional/certified caregiver). I learned that the reason he wants to do this is because she is only bathing him once a week, doesn't take him to his regular doctor (she has decided that he can see someone closer to home), doesn't help him run any of his arrands or help to get him out of the house.. only on Sunday.. to go to church. He said she makes his dinner for him a week at a time so he can heat it up in the microwave (if he can manage to make it across the house), so he doesn't eat half the time because it's too much effort. Which means he is losing too much weight and the doctors are even more worried about him. On top of all of this.. She works a full time job and isn't even home Monday - Friday, 9am -5pm AND she charges my dad $400 a month rent.. he only gets $900 from SDI. Did I miss something or does this just seem like someone taking advantage of him?
I am seriously considering rearranging my life so he can come live with my family. Am I crazy for thinking this? I don't know if I can handle it.. I mean, the emotional challange is what I am afraid of. I know I would have to learn to do so many things to take care of him.. but I can't accept the fact that this woman.. who, mind you, he has been friends with since before his diagnosed, is doing this to him. There are no other family members to take care of him. Our family's story isn't a pretty one.. but there really is just my family left to make sure the last days that he has are the best he's ever had.. what do I do? Please.. am I nuts? Can I do it? Do I need to be certified? I would still have to work full time to support my family.. but if I was receiving funds for now being his caregiver, couldn't I hire a nurse to come into my home a few hours a day to help?
I'm sorry for all the questions and the rambling.. my wheels are spinning and I didn't know where else to go. Remember Star Wars? Yeah, well... "help me, Obi Wan Kanobie.. you're my only hope!"
Thanks, much!
Kari