Dad needs to move in

[blueeyeddaughter]

Hi, this is my first post. My dad, an avid runner/ex-triathelete, was diagnosed in 2004 with ALS. This week after months of being unhappy in his current situation with his wife who is a nurse - he asked my sister and I to help him get a divorce. He thinks he can stay in his home which they built to accomodate him and find someone to live there fulltime and care for him for a minimal amount ($) and rent.

He wants the divorce for 2 reasons. One being money. He is afraid that his wife won't give my sister and me our "fair" share. The second being he now does not trust her and feels that she will try to hurt him. Perception is reality - so at this point it isn't about what is true it is about giving my dad a loving envrionment. I'm afraid that if he goes with his scenario, then once the divorce and spilt of assets is over he won't try to stay around - that would take care of his worries.

I feel that the only way to ensure his happiness and keep hm around is to have him move in with my family. I have a great (supportive) husband, a 2 year old and one on the way. I think this is the only option - how can I get organized to convince him that this is the best option - it is so importnant for him NOT to be a burden. I think being in an environment where he is loved, wanted and can watch his grandchildren is positive and will help his mood.

At this point he is wheel chair bound, we need to feed him (he can feed him self if he is strong enough that day) and his speech is geeting very hard to understand.

My questions are:
1. Is it possible to get help everyday to get him out of bed/washed etc?
2. Have access to a wheelchair accessible van?
3. What else do I need to worry about?

Any ideas advice would be very helpful. Thank you.

 

[Al]

Hello blueeyeddaughter. First of all it would help to know where you are located. Health care availability varies from state to state and if you are in Canada it's a whole different ball game. Thanks. AL.

 

[blueeyeddaughter]

blueeyeddaughter - Michigan

We live in Tecumseh, Michigan - near Ann Arbor.

 

[Al]

Hi blueeyed. We have quite a few members from Michigan so they should be able to give you some advice about homecare etc. AL.

 

[buf68]

My dad goes to the MDA and UM clinics in michigan. So far MDA seems to be the most accomadting in terms of getting us help. We now have a braun entrevan (which is like a mini-van with a lock in it for a wheel chair and a small ramp that folds out), which cost about 30,000 (long time payments, fun....). But they have been also very helpful with getting home help. Right now i'm not sure of the name of the service, but if you PM me I could find out. We have a home health aid that comes in a few times a week for showers, a PT, an OT, a speech therapist, and a nurse that come in once or twice a week. Also, through ALS of michigan we have the Respit care from All valley i think it's called. They allow for 24hrs/month of in home care (mostly showers and stretchs, and also some light housework to help out the caregiver, also you can leave them alone with this person and go out and do errands) which costs our family $5/hour, but like i said that's limited to 24 hours/month. But ya, PM me a reminder and I'll look into names of services we have and telephone numbers if i can find them.