Hi Sandy,
You are really having a rough go, and I know what you mean and what you're going through. Two weeks before my husband passed away from ALS, I remember phoning my Mom and crying cuz I just didn't think I could go on any more - the hardest thing I ever had to do was care for my husband when he was ill, but I'm glad the kids and I got to. They are precious moments we'll never have ever again. Two days before my husband passed away he told me he didn't have much time left, and would one of us please be home cuz he didn't want to die alone (with the nurse or aid), and I told him we'd make sure one of us was always there, and that if he was too tired to go on, and to fight, that it was okay to let go cuz I couldn't stand to see him suffering so (we had just had a horrible weekend - he had pneumonia bad again, and we had almost lost him as he couldn't breathe). That was so hard to do - no matter how ill he was I sure didn't want him to go, but I think he really needed to hear from us that it was okay - he was so much more at peace, not so anxious. It took a long time for me to be able to tell him that, and maybe the time isn't right for you yet. I am still amazed at how long my husband was able to hang on - he went through so much - bad pneumonia twice, two heart attacks - but there were certain milestones he was determined to make. He wanted to be there for our kids' birthdays, and our 25th anniversary - he passed away that day. Maybe your Dad is waiting for the new baby - will to live is an amazing thing, and it sounds like he has it.
My thoughts are with you, and I wish you strength. Peace to you.
Beaner