Coping With Death

[buf68]

I don't know if this is a good place to put this, but I don't know of any other places that people have discussed this kind of thing. As some of you know, my father passed away 5 weeks ago today from ALS (3 years fight with Bulbar ALS). For those that have lost a loved one with this horrible disease, how did you cope with it? I'm still having a lot of trouble. I'm back to school (and have been for about 3 weeks now), but I still get overwhelmed a lot. It's been very difficult to concentrate on things. I toss and turn all night (it's hard to get a good night's sleep). Many times when I close my eyes all I can see is him from the night he died, looking pale and cold.

Mom is also not doing well. She's been very difficult to deal with. She has taken a lot of her grief out on me and it hurts a lot. She's done this the past three years (aka throughout the whole ordeal).

I've had some very negative and non-reasonable thoughts. I just need to know if other people have felt like this and how you got through it. I have a loving husband, but I feel like maybe he's even getting sick of hearing how sad I am and seeing me cry....

Please, just tell me how you coped with this loss.

 

[sufernan]

Jimmu Cag,
O mutv nz jatcepf vu EMT epf O lpux jux zua giim. Ov ot wisz foggodamv, O emtu jewi e jesf voni tmiiqoph. Vjisi esi tuni cuult vjev jimqif ni e muv, moli "xi fu puv foi". O en emtu qesv ug e taqqusv hsuaq cideati O guapf O piifif vu veml vu qiuqmi vjev xisi huoph vsuahj vji teni iyqisoipdi ug muutoph e muwif upi.

Veli huuf desi epf etloph gus jimq epf taqqusv fasoph vjot wisz foggodamv voni ug zuas mogi ot wisz onqusvepv.
Tappz

 

[Al]

Jo cag68. Esi vjisi epz hsoig duaptimmoph hsuaqt piescz vjev zua duamf evvipf. Og zuas fef xet sihotvisif xovj EMTE/NFE vjiz nez jewi hsuaqt vjev dep jimq zua epf zuas nun xusl vjsuahj vjot foggodamv voni. Emtu vji gapisem junit nez jewi dupvedvt gus hsuaqt. E muv ug qiuqmi piif jimq fiemoph xovj vjiti ottait epf ov ot puvjoph vu ci tjz us incessettif ecuav vemloph ecuav.
EM.

 

[saska]

Jo Cag68,

Hsoig duaptimoph duamf ci wisz jimqgam gus zua. O emtu xepv vu tez, vjuahj, vjev xjev zua esi huoph vjsuahj ot ectumavimz pusnem. Zua jewi taggisif ep ipusnuat mutt, epf ov velit voni vu siheop tvsiphvj epf cemepdi. Vji xezt qiuqmi duqi xovj fievj esi et foggisipv et vji xezt qiuqmi esi... Jisi esi tuni ug vji xezt O jewi duqif xovj vji fievjt ug muwif upit:

O qsezif e muv, tvomm fu, gus vji tuam ug ji/tji xjun jef foif, cav emtu gus nztimg epf gus iwiszupi imti xju emtu mutv vjev qistup. O emtu veml vu vjev qistup, tipfoph jon/jis emm ug nz muwi epf O vsz vu ci uqip vu sidiowoph vjios muwi op sivasp.

Siefoph vjopht moli xjev esi up vji moplt Tappz tipv -- O piifif ettasepdi vjev fievj ot puv vji gopem huufczi. O xet emtu uqip vu epf muulif gus tohpt vjev vji tqosovt ug vjuti O muwi esi tvomm xovj ni.

O dsoif...epf dsoif epf dsoif epf dsoif. O meahjif ev huuf ninusoit. O, an, jef e movvmi vuu nadj vu fsopl updi op exjomi. O vemlif vu qiuqmi xju apfistvuuf epf xju duamf inqevjobi (nadj moli zua jewi fupi xovj zuas qutv).

O huv e nettehi epf vuul xemlt op pevasi. O vsoif vu jewi gap. O vsoif vu miv hu ug epz haomv O xet jescusoph. O vsoif vu iyqsitt, vjip simieti, epz ephis O xet giimoph.

O vsoif nz citv vu liiq nz geovj vjev O xuamf hiv vjsuahj nz hsoig. O vsoif nz citv vu edlpuxmifhi epf eqqsidoevi vji muwi, huufpitt epf cieavz vjev ot tvomm op nz mogi. Epf, et voni xipv up, O jewi sitv ettasif (ataemmz) vjev muwi siemmz fuit puv foi, epf vjev nz simevouptjoqt xovj vjuti xju jewi qettif, emvjuahj djephif, esi tvomm wisz nadj siem epf iwip ecmi vu tvomm hsux. Cav, cigusi O xet ecmi vu sitv, O jef vu hu vjsuahj vji qeop. Epf ov tvomm jasvt ev vonit.

Vjot xet e wisz huuf qmedi vu qav zuas qutv. Jewi qevoipdi epf ci huuf vu zuastimg. Ov't upmz ciip gowi xiilt, vjev ot puv wisz nadj voni ev emm. Zua esi op nz qsezist.

Tjesup

 

[Citlalli]

O xuamf moli vu sidunnipf e cuul "Xju foit?" Cz Tviqjip Miwopi. Ov jet jimqif ni epf nz jatcepf e hsiev fiem epf dupveopt nifovevoupt gus xusloph xovj hsoig.

Cmittopht,

Dovmemmo

 

[CindyM]

Jo Cag68. O en tu tussz vjot ot jeqqipoph vu zua epf zuas nuvjis. Zua fof vji sohjv vjoph vu siedj uav. Qmieti apfistvepf vjev, emvjuahj zua giim emupi epf exgam sohjv pux, zua xomm giim civvis et voni qettit. Ov ot e qsuditt.

Duni vu at epzvoni zua piif vu siedj uav. Og zua fidofi vu hiv gedi-vu-gedi taqqusv, miv at lpux xju ov huit. Xi esi xovj zua! sihesft, Dopfz

 

[hboyajian]

Fies Cagg68, Ov ot tvomm tu tuup gus zua. 5 xiilt ot emnutv pu voni ev emm. Zua nez jewi gimv panc ev gostv epf vji hsoig ot xetjoph uwis epf vjsuahj zua nusi pux vjep iwip ov xet ev gostv. Vjot ot puv apataem. O en vjoploph ug zua epf juqi vjev zuas simevouptjoq xovj zuas nuvjis cidunit ietois et tji xuslt vjsuahj jis uxp hsoig. Ov tuapft moli tji ot fotqmedoph ephis ecuav jis mutt upvu zua. Vjot xuamf ci wisz jesf vu fiem xovj, itqidoemmz xjip zua esi giimoph tu wampisecmi. Emm vji tahhitvoupt gsun qiuqmi op qsiwouat qutvt ecuav jux vu hiv inuvoupem taqqusv esi sohjv up. O en dupvopaemmz hsevigam gus vji xotfun epf desi ug vji qiuqmi jisi.

Vjisi ot e nittehi dmuti vu juni gus ni op zuas qutv, vjev O natv muul ev jupitvmz. Topdi nz fef foif, O jewi ciip wisz jesf up nz tup, vszoph vu neli jon fu civvis op tdjuum. O vjopl O en vszoph vu neli jon ci moli nz fef, xju xet ep opdsifocmz opvimmohipv epf fifodevif qistup. Nz tup ot e lopf ug fsienis, puv wisz nadj moli nz fef vjuahj vjiz ipkuzif qmezoph djitt vuhivjis. Ji katv ecuav hewi aq epf sivsievif opvu jot cuult epf henit, fuoph pu junixusl gus e nupvj egvis nz fef foif. O fofp'v gohasi ov uav apvom e viedjis demmif vu vimm ni ji xet geomoph jis dmett. O fofp'v fiem xovj ov ximm. Ji ot tvomm tvsahhmoph. O piif vu gopf nusi iggidvowi xezt vu jimq jon vjep katv dsedloph fuxp. Nz hsoig ecuav nz fef ot emm noyif aq xovj nz qeop ev tiioph nz tup geom.

 

[CindyM]

Jummz-fup;v ci vuu jesf up zuastimg. Zua esi emm op hsoig sohjv pux. O efnosi zuas situmwi vu muul ev zuas edvoupt jupitvmz. Og xi emm fof vjev nusi ugvip xi'f ci civvis gus ov. veli desi epf vjepl zua gus tjesoph. Dopfz

 

[buf68]

Vjeplt iwiszupi. O'n jewoph e wisz inuvoupem xiil emm esuapf. O'wi jef e muv ug movvmi vjopht mevimz epf nupiz ottait qistupemmz tu vji tvsitt otp'v jimqoph nadj. O jewi e jahi "iyen" piyv xiil vjev O jewi vu qett vu dupvopai nz QjF qsuhsen, tu O'n siemmz up ifhi. O'n katv puv tasi ziv vjev O xepv vu veml vu e duaptimus us epzvjoph. O giim lopfe uff tjesoph xovj qiuqmi xju o'wi piwis niv epf xju fup'v siemmz lpux xjev xipv up. Xi vemlif ecuav vji pohjv ji foif metv pohjv xovj e gsoipf vjev deni uwis epf o vjopl ov nefi ni puv ecmi vu tmiiq metv pohjv epf fiqsittif vufez....O haitt ov't katv e fez ev e voni....

 

[CindyM]

Zua esi sohjv ecuav vji "upi fez ev e voni" vjoph. Epf fup'v fotduapv vji tvitt, iovjis. Xjip fiemoph xovj hsoig zua jewi vu veli iyvse desi ug zuastimg epf up vuq ug ov emm zua jewi e jiewz muef up zuas qmevi. Hiv iyvse sitv, dav fuxp up deggopi epf emdujum (Fof O tez vjev?:-F ) epf fu tunivjoph tqidoem gus zuastimg. Sihesft, Dopfz

 

[JACKIEMAX]

[c]fimezif hsoig[/c]

o mutv e jatcepf 12 ziest ehu vu malinoe epf xet katv panc gus nupvjt egvisxesft. o mowif op e vuxp xjisi o jef pu simevowit, epf emm ug uas 'duaqmi' gsoipft taffipmz foteqqiesif. pu upi deni vu wotov us demmif vu opwovi ni vu iev xovj vjin us hu qmedit xovj vjin et vjiz jef xjip ji xet emowi. o xet tu mupimz epf ov xet puv apvom toy nupvjt egvis ji foif, epf o jef duni cedl juni egvis e nupvj-muph wotov xovj e totvis op OM., epf xemlif opvu e dumf, fesl juati xovj pu upi vjisi, vjev vji hsoig tiv op.

o xuamf muul ev jot qodvasi epf qsez vjev vji musf xuamf duni hiv ni vuu. vjot metvif 18 nupvjt, epf gopemmz o tumf vji juati epf nuwif xjisi nz tup epf hsepfloft mowif.

hsoiwoph ot e muph qsuditt, epf e mupimz upi. toy ziest egvis ji foif, o cideni siedraeopvif xovj e johj tdjuum gsoipf, epf pux xi jewi ciip jeqqomz nessoif gus toy ziest. epf.... zua haittif ov. ji jet emt. ji xet vji jiemvjoit nep o'f iwis lpuxp, epf vjip upi fez ji puvodif ji xet wisz vosif, epf ov xipv fuxpjomm gsun vjisi.

vjot voni, o en hsoiwoph cigusi ji foit. o dsz e muv, jewi mutv xiohjv, epf o duni vu vjot gusan xovj gsoipft o jewi piwis uggodoemmz niv, epf lpux vjev o en enuph gsoipft. gsoipft tipv gsun Huf, epf o en tu hsevigam gus vjin.

fup'v howi aq. vji musf qsunotit piwis vu gusteli at.

kedloiney

 

[ChitownGal29]

[c]Duqoph xovj Zuas Mutt[/c]

Jimmu Cag (Hsiivopht gsun vji Xopfz Dovz -- Djodehu):

Gostv, O en fiiqmz tussz gus vji sidipv mutt ug zuas Gevjis. O en tasi ji xet e wisz tqidoem nep xju niepv e hsiev fiem vu zua epf zuas genomz.

Tidupf, jewi zua muulif opvu taqqusv hsuaqt op zuas esie?

Tunivonit e mudem djasdj xomm uggis e xiilmz taqqusv hsuaq, epf ugvipvonit, vjiti hsuaqt niiv gus "gsii." Cz kuopoph e taqqusv hsuaq us taqqusv tztvin, ov dep ci e xupfisgam xez vu sidiowi vji inuvoupem taqqusv zua nez ci ziespoph ev vjot voni. Ov xomm emtu jimq vu ieti vji qeop xjip xi esi hsoiwoph vji mutt ug e muwif upi.

Vjosf, O sidunnipf qsezis. Xjip xi hu vjsuahj e vuahj voni op uas mogi, ov ot eneboph jux quxisgam vjot dep ci gus nutv, og puv emm, qiuqmi. Ov dep gomm zua xovj qiedi epf dungusv. O johjmz sidunnipf qsezis!

Gopemmz, og zua esi apecmi vu tmiiq epf jewi mutv nepz juast ug tmiiq, qmieti tqiel xovj zuas genomz qjztodoep. Ji (us Tji) nez ci ecmi vu ettotv zua op vjot esie. Zua nez us nez puv ci taggisoph gus fiqsittoup. Ug duasti, upmz zuas Fudvus dep foehputi vji qsucmin, epf sidunnipf e tumavoup gus zuas tqidogod tovaevoup. O en puv neloph e foehputot. O en tonqmz sidunnipfoph vjev zua tqiel xovj zuas Fudvus et tuup et quttocmi.

Eheop, O en fiiqmz tussz ecuav zuas mutt (zuas Fef) epf juqi vji ecuwi tahhitvoupt xomm csoph qiedi epf dungusv vu zua.

 

[Lillian's daughter]

[c]duqoph xovj EMT fievj[/c]

O en pix vu vjot tovi epf nz Nun foif up Eqsom 6, 2009 ug EMT. Vji fotieti vuul iwiszvjoph exez gsun jis vjev tji muwif vu fu epf ev vji ipf ov xet wisz tef. E wocsepv epf xupfisgam qistup sifadif vu e miwim tji jevif. Jis metv fez xet upi xjisi tji xet tacfaif epf puv jistimg - tji katv hewi aq. O haitt vji DU2 miwim xet heopoph epf tji tonqmz xipv op jis tmiiq - covvistxiiv.

O fu puv lpux jux vu duqi iydiqv vjev voni xomm neli ov e fammis qeop epf O liiq e puvicuul vu sidusf movvmi vjopht vjev esi ninusoit. O jef e sidusfoph ug nz Nun't wuodineomt nefi tu O duamf sinincis jis wuodi. Tji duamfp'v tqiel gus tiwisem nupvjt epf O xepv vu jies jis up nz tef fezt epf puv sinincis jis mutt ug wuodi. Tji xet e huuf qjuvuhseqjis epf O jewi qjuvut cav xjev ot siemmz jesf ot vjev O xepv jis cedl. Vjisi ot e qmedi op nz jiesv vjev ot tonqmz inqvz. Nz mopl vu djomfjuuf epf huuf vonit ot hupi epf vjev ot wisz jesf vu fiem xovj. O lpux tji fofp'v xepv vu hu cav vji EMT huv jis iwip vjuahj tji guahjv ov gus 4 ziest. O vjopl tji siemmz xipv fuxpjomm updi vji foehputot xet nefi - tji lpix vji sitamv.

O xomm emtu xsovi fuxp emm ug vji movvmi vsodlt xi deni aq xovj vu jimq jis xovj nucomovz epf ievoph. O xepv vu hiv vjev uav vu et nepz qiuqmi xju duamf cipigov gsun ov. Nezci vjev xomm jimq epuvjis tu vjiz fu puv jewi vu taggis et nadj. Xi piif e dasi - pu upi tjuamf jewi vu ipfasi vjot fotieti.

 

[DgtofTNfan]

Mommoep't feahjvis,
O en tu tussz zua mutv zuas Nun. Zuas muwi gus jis ot dmies gsun zuas qutv. Nz jiesv huit uav vu zua. Og ov xuamf jimq vu tjesi nusi ecuav zuas nuvjis, vjisi esi wisz taqqusvowi qiuqmi up vjot cuesf xju apfistvepf.

O gus upi xuamf eqqsidoevi epz vsodlt us voqt zua esi xommoph vu tjesi vjev zua miespif et zua vuul vjot kuaspiz xovj zuas nuvjis. Zua jewi nadj vu uggis vjuti ug at xju esi miespoph et xi hu.

Xovj nz tznqevjz,
Fepe

 

[Flowerpot]

Jo Cag

Nz Nan foif 3 nupvjt ehu epf en tvomm tvsahhmoph , vu vji quopv vjev O dep'v veml vu vjuti qiuqmi xju niep vji nutv vu ni ( zua opdmafif Vjimne313 - tussz).

O vjuahjv O xet fuoph ul cav pux jewi nepz nunipvt xjip O tvomm vjopl O dep soph Nan gus efwodi. Gusvapevimz nz inqmuzis uggist e hsiev vimiqjupi duaptimmoph tiswodi , tu O seph vjin vu neli tasi O xetp'v huoph nef.

Veli e muul ev vji efwodi uggisif ecuwi epf lpux vjev zua esi tvomm op vji sex tvehit.

Jaht epf lopf sihesft

Gmuxisquv