Hi Northerngirl -
I would be really reluctant to put a catheter into a female patient. Do you have a lift to help with transfers? I believe Medicare and most insurances pay for basic Hoyer lifts. You might want to check with ALSA or MDA - I know of several people that got overhead lifts through the loan closets - by far the best kind of lifts, but kind of pricey. Ther is also an Easy Pivot lift that might be available - although I do not recommend purchasing it.
There is a female "urine diverter" invented by a nurse in the ALS field (California, I believe), sort of like a urinal but smaller and adapted to female anatomy. That works fairly well - we were able to use it and the tubing to channel urine into the commode -used it frequently for going out. It takes getting used to to prevent leaks and spills - but does work. I believe it is called "Freshette" - Google it for more info.
A urinary catheter is a PERFECT vehicle for urinary tract infections. In this age of MRSA I would not even consider it.
My PALS has recently gone to diapers at night. She is a nurse, has all of her faculties, and plans to be around for quite a while. Going to the toilet was just becoming too frequent and too hard - and now she gets a good night's sleep.
She does not see this as degrading or "the end", she sees it as a major convenience. We have found very high quality cloth-type high-absorbency diapers on-line. Prevail is a good brand, as is Tranquility. Avoid the plastic-backed - they can lead to skin-breakdown.
My absolute last choice would be a catheter - I think they would hasten her death by infection - something that is not necessary and is uncomfortable.
Elimination problems are such a hurdle - I am eternally greatful that the PALS I care for has handled this issue with grace and foresight. Everyone needs to go to the bathroom - we just had to find ways to make it safe and comfortable for her. Luckily - shame and embarrassment did not trap us into bad choices - or worse - uncomfortable silence.
I wish you good luck with this problem - Beth