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Catching up

NinaP

Distinguished member
Joined
May 24, 2018
Messages
138
Reason
CALS
Country
GRE
State
Kozani
Hey guys. Been having some really bad days. Mums 6 months anniversary two days ago. Cried a lot. Very down in general. Fear is getting the best of me again. Everything slips off my hands, even the nails clips, everything slips, like i cant close fingers, cant hold the keys right. Sometimes fork too, like i cant hold it. My leg has been worse too, always tight. I go to bed and think of the mistakes. Giving mum antidepressants when she wasnt even depressed cause doctors didnt know what she had. The physio therapy. Her broken hand hurting her like hell and i was insisting on her to do it, we didnt know what she had. She was calling me crying. All the memories. Closing my eyes and pushing away the memories. I didnt hug her enough. I miss her. I didnt kiss her enough.
 

lgelb

Forum Supporter
Moderator
Joined
Nov 5, 2009
Messages
7,336
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
09/2009
Country
US
State
WA
Re: Moving Forward

Hey Nina, everyone has bad days. Anniversaries like six months are tough.

You miss your mom, but don't ever think she didn't know how much you loved her.

Don't let your mind shut down your body. You can be of great help to others and that will help you feel better as well.
 

NinaP

Distinguished member
Joined
May 24, 2018
Messages
138
Reason
CALS
Country
GRE
State
Kozani
Re: Moving Forward

Nah i feel ok here reading everyones pains, complains. Im scared with the knee pain. Im try to be a bit from fit but im scared. Scared of getting sick. Im also nearly broke. The paper work for my inheritance costed me nearly 1000e and i need to give the irs about 2500 euros. I blame myself for not thinking about myself. I should have kept something for me. But in Greece you pay everything concerning als. Anyway. I had an emg in my leg, one needle as you know but he didnt give an analysis or anything. Just the diagram i posted here. Maybe i should go for a full emg? Feel so done u know. Like everything is going against me.
 

lgelb

Forum Supporter
Moderator
Joined
Nov 5, 2009
Messages
7,336
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
09/2009
Country
US
State
WA
Re: Moving Forward

Nina, I've moved these posts to their own thread so your concerns can be separate from Sue's. It's not a general check-in thread.

I think we covered your own health in other threads, and there is no reason to think you have ALS. So especially since money is tight, I would spend it on the basics and work on what can help you feel better.

I know you want to lose weight, for example. The good news is, walking is free!
 

NinaP

Distinguished member
Joined
May 24, 2018
Messages
138
Reason
CALS
Country
GRE
State
Kozani
Its Greek Orthodox Easter here tomorrow. Im cooking. Traditional easter dinner. My sister is here, my nieces, my young brother with his family. Again here as every year. But someone is missing. My sis cries, a lot. I told her you bringing me down too. We got to get used to this, remember the good times. I wish you tge best. Kisses and hugs to all of u. I miss u. Think about you every day. Im waiting for the moment i wont be scared. I will smile really openly and broadly without that shadow in the back of my mind. I love u guys. Here is our red eggs, after Christ is risen we break them. This is the way mum was colouring them, with leaves from onions.
 

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lgelb

Forum Supporter
Moderator
Joined
Nov 5, 2009
Messages
7,336
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
09/2009
Country
US
State
WA
Nina, I wish you a joyous time together and I'm glad you are helping to comfort your sister. The eggs are beautiful!

While you are at the table, sometimes it's good to hold hands, signifying that you are a strong family, and exchange favorite memories or thoughts of how you will live better in the coming year. It does not have to be sad -- like lighting a candle or lifting a glass to her and her hopes for you. She is in each of you, as always.

Best,
Laurie
 

wishmobbing

Senior member
Joined
Dec 5, 2017
Messages
712
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
07/2017
Country
DE
State
Germany
Happy Easter to your whole family!
 

Narrowminded

Very helpful member
Joined
Apr 30, 2016
Messages
2,364
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
07/2007
Country
US
State
PA
Happy Easter Nina, so good to hear from you. I hope you can have a joyous day.

Hugs
 
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