depression
this is our 7th year. my husband is mostly paralyzed and advancing into bulbar- choking, slurring (and i am mostly deaf- so we bought a voice amplifier). we also installed a ceiling hoist so i can transfer him into and out of bed, wheelchair, bathroom. i have been on antidepressants for several years but i still feel numb and all the signals of severe depression. it is still mind boggling. i went to an als seminar and one of the classes was about what we have lost. i started with the major: selling house, early retirement, expenses, and then thought about candlelight dinners (dinner is not the same- he can't eat and talk), walks in the neighborhood, playing with grandchildren, tickling fights, laughter without choking. it was good to get it down on paper. i take effexor antidepressant but it doesn't seem to cut it any more. fortunately a friend has moved out since my last child married last month and we have a spare room. without her the house is deathly silent most of the day and little laughter.
