Caregivers and relationships...

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DawnaM

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Mar 1, 2005
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Hello everyone ... i have to admit that i sit here typing this and am overwhelmed by what i have read. tears are welling in my eyes as i think about what everyone who uses this forum must be going through and it makes me realize how small my issues are really. there have been changes in my relationship with my boyfriend (who's mom was diagnosed about 3 years ago). i can't tell if it is possibly due to the change in her condition and how he is coping with that ... or if there is something more. i'm wondering if anyone else has had similar experience? any insights? any ideas of what i can do for him to support him during this time? any and all comments appreciated ... thank you so much ... dawna
 

TBear

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Hi dawna from tHe left coast

being Here is a good start. if your boyfriend is tHe primary caregiver, tHen, if His mom is cHanging rapidly, He is probaly extremely busy. as als patients cHange, tHey often need more and more attention and tHere is less time available for frivolous stuff like otHer relationsHips.

once you realize wHat He is going tHrougH, you'll understand and probably find out wHetHer He need space to Help His mom... or He just wants space. learn as mucH as you can (you can find out alot Here) and tHen decide wHetHer you, personally want to be involved. i know wHen i was looking after my wife tHat sometimes it's a recreational event just to get out to do grocery sHopping for an Hour wHile somebody else talked witH Her. if you are comfortable witH tHat, and tHe family is amenable, tHen sometimes tHat's all it takes to Help out. i tHink if you look in tHe als canada page in tHe top left Hand corner of tHe page you'll find a publication on "friends and family Helping out"
good luck

t.
 

Carol Deboer

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May 7, 2003
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Hi dawna,

welcome. i agree witH tbear, your continuing support during tHis difficult time wil be a great source of comfort to Him and His mom and even His family. since your relationsHip is fairly new, educate yourself about als and be familiar witH all tHe aspects and adversities of it. tHis itself will Help you more to understand wHat tHe family is going tHrougH. we will be Here to Help you tHrougH tHese difficult times and Hopefully answer your questions to tHe best of our abilities. of course, you will Have to get used to all of our degrees of Humour and satire, and tHis will Help you along your patH too! again, welcome, and we Hope you will feel at Home Here.

stay strong and god bless...

love, carol (Hugs to you )
 

ricturn

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Nov 27, 2004
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helping out

Dawna from the west:
good for you - find out as much as you can about als; who knows, maybe you will find the cure, one day ! t-bear has the right idea; listen to what he suggests. listen to anything that people who suffer from the cursed als have to say ! just offer your support and friendship and be therre when he needs a friend !

- richard(karen's friend)
 

DawnaM

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Thanks for the support

Thanks for the support with my questions ... my boyfriend and i ended up breaking up last week. and sadly, his mom has not been doing well. my heart goes out to everyone that is dealing with this disease ... you are all very brave. Thank you for letting me be a part of this even if it was for a short time. best wishes to everyone!
 

Al

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Sorry for the breakup dawna. just because you broke up with your boyfriend doesn't mean that you have to forget about als. you can stick around and learn more about it. the more people are educated about it the better chance we will have to find a cure. the boyfriend may not need you but we and the als society do. every one person that we educate will tell 3 more people. when we have a walk or other fundraiser that is 4 people that will say. oh yea i know about that. we need more people to be aware. you can help. maybe you ended up here for a reason. give it some thought.
 

Theresa2004

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Dawn, al is right. the society needs more help and awareness. and maybe your boyfriend needs some time to focus on what he has to do. my experience makes me an expert in the field of how a relationship can be destroyed by disease. and whether my circumstances change any time soon, who knows, but i vowed i would fight. it appears i am fighting solo, but i also know that whatever help i can provide, can bring a change in focus and success in research a tiny bit closer. i am trying to help in my own way with our local chapter of the als walk, and in only a month, have learned how much it requires to organize. so hop on the bandwagon, maybe you can still help out your ex.
 
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