Caregivers and abuse

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Hi jhviv

Hi jhviv:

Don't worry about venting what you're going through, this is what we are here for, to share what we are living everyday with this terrible disease.
Like you I've suffered my husband's insulting me, and like you I vented out my feelings on this same thread.

The advice of these wonderful people here have helped me a lot, I think I am getting used and now I can manage the situation.
My husband can barely talk, but nothing I do pleases him, like you I am a 24/7 caregiver I had to quit my job to take care of him, since neither my daughter or son could help me take care of his dad I don't have parents or siblings.

I am completely worn out, the other day my daughter came and he told her that I had gone to sleep for three hours of course that wasn't true, if he sees I am closing my eyes or that I am sleeping he waits for 15 minutes to go through and wakes me up, to give massage to his hands, at night he wakes me every half an hour to turn him on his side, nothing hurts me more than his insulting me, when he's in a good mood I can handle the physical stress in my body.

I think you have to seek help for you and for him; I once in a while remember my husband that I have to be healthy and physically well so that I can take care of him, that to make him conscious that being negative and by attacking me he's only going to make me get sick and he will have to go to a rest home.

Ask God to give you strengh to go through this.

Sincerely,

Paty
Husband's caregiver
Baja California, Mexico :)
 
There's actually 2 or more issues in this thread. The abuse issue is the most glaring and I sincerely hope that anyone facing abuse from someone they are taking care of gets support right away. It may very well be that a violent patient needs a different living situation. Nobody wants to think about nursing homes but in my view they have a place.

As for caring for someone who is unappreciative and doesn't recognize the sacrifice, I hope I never become like that. Sick patients sometimes return to childish ways, though. Like taking care of an infant, you'll never get gratitude or appreciation for your efforts. And fearful patients can be the most demanding!

Caregivers - please remember to take care of yourself as well. You are no good to anyone if you allow yourself to get frazzled. So get some rest, have some fun, and get some help. Family members who are too busy at work should be able to chip in for a sitter to come in for a half day. And no matter how demanding their jobs there should be a way that they can spend an overnight once a month in a "trading places" sort of arrangement.

Sorry to sound so bossy but caregiving for someone with a dibilitating illness is overwhelming and sometimes a caregiver can't see the forrest for the trees, so to speak. Cindy
 
Hi Cindy

Hi Cindy:

Like always you're there for all of us, with good advice.

Thanks and a big hug.


Paty
Husband's caregiver DX 10?17/05
Baja California, Mexico
 
Thanks Paty. I just re-read my post and saw I was on a bit of a rant that day. The caregiver issues come at me from 2 directions. I worry about the job I am doing with my Mom, though Hospice helps a lot for her, and I worry about my own future. In my family, I am the one who takes care of folks. Cindy
 
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