- Dec 27, 2019
- St charles
Im in same boat..i am 48 i beat lung and ovarian cancer in july and now bei g diagnosed with als..i had no chemo tho as both were stage 1Wow the past 18 months....I got married, had a baby, in a long-distance relationship while my husband made a career change, and bought my company. Unfortunately at the same time in the past 18 months, my mom was diagnosed with genetic linked breast cancer. She went through chemo and surgery, only to get diagnosed with ALS within weeks of being 'cancer free'. The ALS diagnosis was a week or 2 ago. I am absolutely devastated. For some reason, I could live with the cancer diagnosis but not this. I've been crying for days on end over this ALS diagnosis and seeing my mother in such bad shape. The ALS has progressed extremely rapidly; as hard as chemo was on her, it's nothing compared to this. She's almost already lost all ability to talk, swallow, and breathe; it happened very very fast. She can barely move on her own. Luckily (read that with whatever attitude you want to imagine) I've had flu A and pneumonia over the past 10 days so at least I am able to work from home while I wallow in my depression out of public eye.
My mother and I have always had a rocky relationship. She's spent decades addicted to prescription pills and it's caused bad behavior and a horrible riff between us. She was very abusive towards me and my brother. I eventually stepped away to distance myself for my own health and safety; and we've gone for over a year on multiple occasions without speaking or seeing each other. If anyone would take initiative to communicate, it would be me. My mom is an only child, single and has been since I was 10. I'm 34 now. A family friend had a preacher go speak with my mother and my mother told him that she had been really mean to her daughter and wanted to make amends. I stepped up and we're at least talking as best we can as of 3 days ago. When I was pregnant; she was nothing but hateful. She'd tell me I was a mistake and that she didn't want a grandchild either. Her tune has changed now that she's seen the baby and she has this terminal diagnosis; she now wants to be Nana.
My mom's mother was diagnosed with dementia around age 78-80; she's 90 next month and doesn't know who or what or where she is. She's lived a miserable existence for the past 4-5 years. My mom also had an aunt (her mom's sister) who died of Alzheimer's. Their mother died of a stroke at 47. Not the best track record for the family. I've read about the genetic link so I'm assuming this is familial. I have a 6 month old baby girl, and I'm dying inside at the thought of putting her through this heartbreak. Maybe she will, maybe she won't have memories of her Nana. Maybe she will, maybe she won't suffer this fate with her mother or of herself. What a burden to bear.
My mom said she has not read up on ALS and will in time, she says. She talks about how hopeful she is about potential treatments and that good doctors should be able to help her. I'm trying stay strong but oh my gosh, I don't have it in me. I am grateful my husband is now home. We've had to live 3 hours apart for the past 18 months while he was in pilot training. This was better than the 7 years he spent off and on in Iraq before this. He moved back home 3 weeks ago. I thought I was set and life was good. I have my dream man, beautiful baby, amazing family, a new house, and I signed contract to buy my 50 year old company the week before Christmas. I will officially own one of the top agencies in my industry nationwide as of July 1. My dreams were all coming true. I was living my dream; and then this time-bomb all came crashing down. Crying 247 in my basement like I have been this week won't help me be a good mom, daughter, wife, or boss. I need to find the will to move forward.