Katalin
Distinguished member
- Joined
- Sep 22, 2018
- Messages
- 114
- Reason
- Lost a loved one
- Diagnosis
- 05/2018
- Country
- CA
- State
- Ontario
- City
- Toronto
Hi all, like Regina, I'm not sure how this roll call works, but I'm here too. My most dearest beloved sister is in her final days, with cancer. Tomorrow I take my PAL mother to see her. She's not aware of this timeframe...yet...
I know this is devastating me: I've been barely able to stop crying since this morning when her husband called to let me know how far advanced it is: blood clots, multiple tumours...possibility of heart failure or stroke at any moment.
The worst is worrying how it will affect my mother. This sister is the golden girl of the family, so kind, so smart, so funny, so dear. She was/ and still is everything to me. And she's everything to my mother---don't ever let anyone tell you that a mother doesn't have favourites. She is everyone's favourite.
I'm gutted. And I'm worried my mother will really deteroriate on this news. She's 87, bed-bound, legs and trunk gone, starting to slur more and more...sometimes I don't understand what she's saying. I don't know how she'll deal with this. Emotional stress must make things worse for PALs, no?
I'm the main girl for her now. In addition, I'm having to coordinate the move from her current home to an apartment in my building. She moves in in 10 days. Disability contractor (the only one of three that responded to my request for quote) wanted to charge $3800 for an accessible sink, so now that's on our books too now, we'll do it ourselves. I guess we'll get these things done at night.
Hard times. Overwhelmed with anticipatory grief. So sad. Thanks for letting me vent.
I know this is devastating me: I've been barely able to stop crying since this morning when her husband called to let me know how far advanced it is: blood clots, multiple tumours...possibility of heart failure or stroke at any moment.
The worst is worrying how it will affect my mother. This sister is the golden girl of the family, so kind, so smart, so funny, so dear. She was/ and still is everything to me. And she's everything to my mother---don't ever let anyone tell you that a mother doesn't have favourites. She is everyone's favourite.
I'm gutted. And I'm worried my mother will really deteroriate on this news. She's 87, bed-bound, legs and trunk gone, starting to slur more and more...sometimes I don't understand what she's saying. I don't know how she'll deal with this. Emotional stress must make things worse for PALs, no?
I'm the main girl for her now. In addition, I'm having to coordinate the move from her current home to an apartment in my building. She moves in in 10 days. Disability contractor (the only one of three that responded to my request for quote) wanted to charge $3800 for an accessible sink, so now that's on our books too now, we'll do it ourselves. I guess we'll get these things done at night.
Hard times. Overwhelmed with anticipatory grief. So sad. Thanks for letting me vent.