Brother w/ALS wants to get married

Status
Not open for further replies.

luv2byte

Member
Joined
Dec 26, 2006
Messages
25
Reason
Loved one DX
Country
US
State
WA
City
Kelso
My big brother who has ALS has an incredible, long term girlfriend. Our other brother and myself as taking them to Oahu for a family trip for his 50th birthday. Well...they are thinking of getting married while we are there, which I think would be fantastic as we all LOVE his girlfriend.

The concern we all have is if there are any reprocussions if they do get married such as are there less services that might be available to him/them if they get married vs if they just live together? He is leaving everything to her when he does die (which we are hoping at least 2 or more years away) so any bills he has will come out of his estate before she gets anything but ...

What are the big possitives and negatives if they get married? I would LOVE to have her as my legal sis in law, so would our other brother (it is just us 3 siblings) but we also want what would be best for them in the long run.

Ellie
WA State
 

Al

Moderator emeritus
Joined
May 25, 2004
Messages
7,960
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
10/2003
Country
CA
State
On
City
NW of Toronto
I'm not up on American law as it pertains to survivor rights but as far as I'm concerned if it makes them happy. DO IT! AL.
 

luv2byte

Member
Joined
Dec 26, 2006
Messages
25
Reason
Loved one DX
Country
US
State
WA
City
Kelso
I couldn't agree more. My brother waited his whole life to find a love like they have BUT he wants to be sure that it won't be a negative financial impact on her afte he is gone and that there won't be a huge loss of sevices avail to him that it would leave a big financial impact afte he is gone.

Diane is incredible, I have never seen my brother as happy as he is with her but he wants to be sure that it will work out ok for her.
 

Mike27

Distinguished member
Joined
Apr 19, 2005
Messages
280
Diagnosis
10/1993
Country
CA
State
Alberta
City
Edmonton
I think it's fantastic that he's getting married!

Unfortunately, I'm not up on American financial matters either. (Ask a question about US law and you get a couple of Canadians who can't answer:? )

Maybe talk to a good financial advisor from your area, I'm not sure if the rules change from state to state. There may be ways around any capital gains or other tax, I'm sure there is a way to ensure Diane will be taken care of.

Good luck and let us know what you find out. This is good information to know!

Cheers!
 

cartman

Active member
Joined
Sep 21, 2006
Messages
31
Reason
PALS
State
mo
City
nixa
any services he is receiving will be effected if they are based on his financial limitations, once they are married she will be responsible for bills occurred after they are married---receiving benefits will be based on the financial conditions of both---thats just the way it is in the us, that's why so many older married couples get divorced so they can receive individual services, where together they do not qualify---can't tell you the number of times i have heard, "together your income and net worth is just too great."----i am by no means wealthy, but just a middle income earner and so is my wife---

cartman
 

sufernan

Active member
Joined
Sep 11, 2006
Messages
66
Reason
Lost a loved one
Country
CA
State
Ontario
City
Toronto
I did it!

I got married after my husband was diagnose with ALS. It was the best day of my life and I would do it again without hesitation.
I did not care about any legal issues, I just follow my heart!
 

CindyM

Moderator emeritus
Joined
Sep 17, 2006
Messages
3,543
Reason
Learn about ALS
Country
US
State
New England
City
Anytown
Hi Cartman. First let me say I am new to all this so I may be missing something. But here's my reasoning: the ALS association says a DX qualifies one for medicare. Medicare covers all who qualify, regardless of age, medical condition, or ability to pay, according to AARP. So is the problem that medicare doesn't pay for everything? I am reading it that if you get ALS and medicare covers all who qualify, we are all set in the medical insurance department. But now you say you are sometimes denied due to income? Does medicare deny you are is it some other program?

Cindy
 

hope

Distinguished member
Joined
Oct 1, 2005
Messages
230
Marriage is precious gift. It is a gift that you never have to give back, you never have to change it for something else, it is a gift that keeps on giving. Money matters in life will always be there. I agree follow your heart and I believe the gift of love will be more important than anything in this world.

Sandy.
 

rcharlton

Moderator emeritus
Joined
Jun 20, 2005
Messages
610
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
11/2005
Country
CA
State
Ontario
City
Toronto
I was diagnosed with ALS in June of 2005 and I got married in August 2006

I say go for it.

It is possible that they may look at combined income for both spouses.
 

luv2byte

Member
Joined
Dec 26, 2006
Messages
25
Reason
Loved one DX
Country
US
State
WA
City
Kelso
Well...my big bro was here this weekend. After we talked about what I have learned, pros and cons of marriage for various services like Medicare & Medicaid (if time comes he that he would need them) and after he and his GF discussed it more they decided to get married--which is what my brother has been wanting more than anything for about a year now! You would have thought he won the lottery.

So...us and our other brother were already planning to take our big bro and Diane to Oahu for a family vacation for his 50th birthday in April they decided they are going to get married there. Since they made the final decision they both are giddy, which is so cute considering they are not 20yr olds.
 

Al

Moderator emeritus
Joined
May 25, 2004
Messages
7,960
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
10/2003
Country
CA
State
On
City
NW of Toronto
Let me be the first to offer my congratulations and many years of happiness to them both. AL.
 

luv2byte

Member
Joined
Dec 26, 2006
Messages
25
Reason
Loved one DX
Country
US
State
WA
City
Kelso
Thank you! We are planning, actually I already booked it, a family trip to Oahu for my ig bro's 50th birthday so they will be married on the beach in Oahu. We are all pretty excited for them. Emails have been flying between me and my new sis in law looking at hawaiian aloha wear for the wedding-casual but hawaiian prints as well as other details. We are ending the wedding with going to a luau which we think will be a great end to the day.

Ellie
 

Mike27

Distinguished member
Joined
Apr 19, 2005
Messages
280
Diagnosis
10/1993
Country
CA
State
Alberta
City
Edmonton
Now THAT'S some good news!


Way to go!

Cheers!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top