One thing I see in just six days- watching Brian’s decline had become truly a horror show. It’s good not to be seeing that now.
A switch flipped in January. He breathing declined, his cognitive skills were declining, and the last of his below the neck motion was just about gone. His voice got dimmer, and he slept more each week.
We got the trilogy, but he never really used it. No more could we sit and sip wine and talk. He’d be sleeping or crying or just vaguely out of it.
I had left anger at ALS and I was just heartbroken, just in sort of a walking state of grief. I think I was not even acknowledging to myself how much of my life was pain.
For Brian, I think it’s safe to say that from mid January forward he had little to no meaningful quality of life. It was notbsuper amazing he called me home on 2/27 to say he was done.
God forgive me, I am just so very relieved for both of us to be beyond that. For Brian it was time.
I’m off to the Dr today, and no doubt more fussing with refi docs latter. I’ll miss Brian the rest of my life, but I can’t be sad that what we went through is over.