Hi Michael,
I am sorry to read about your wife's diagnosis. This is indeed a cruel disease, and it is frightening because the progression can be so unpredictable. The upside is that you have time together to express how much you love each other. A lot of people don't get that opportunity because of sudden, unanticipated deaths from things like car accidents. Of course, I wish that none of us would come to a tragic end of any sort, but I do believe that ALS often gives us the chance to prepare for our mortality and truly cherish the time that we have with our loved ones.
Assuming that you live long after your wife's death (whenever that might be, which could be much further away than the "average"), you'll find other ways to add meaning to your life. My grandmother outlived her husband by almost two decades, and I was amazed by the ways that she grew as an individual after his death. She didn't think it was possible to have a fulfilling life without him, but she did so many wonderful things during that time. She never stopped loving him, though--she always celebrated his memory.
The most important thing right now, perhaps, is to remember that you are not alone. This forum is full of caring, compassionate people who will support you and your wife as you "pre-grieve" (as I sometimes call it). I also hope that you will give up--or at least scale back on--the alcohol, if for no other reason just so that you can really savor the time you have with your wife and help her when she needs assistance. Alcohol won't erase the pain, and it can intensify the depression that you might already be experiencing. That being said, I love a good glass of wine.
One other thing: Is there an ALS group in your area? It might also help to meet in person with others who are experiencing the same things that you are. This is not an easy disease, and the more support you can surround yourself with, the better.
