Bereavement Camp

[brooksea]

Without going into the details, my son has reached out to me and asked for help in dealing with his father's death. He has been steadfast in refusing counseling, until this week when he broke down to tell me he needed help. He is 11, soon to be 12.

The hospice facility participates in a camp (free to bereaved) for children. I took him there this evening. It broke my heart to see all the children that looked so sad and lost. It was all I could do to keep myself composed. I wanted to just wail for all of us. I know I was not the only adult that felt that way.

The program is for the weekend (overnight). They will explore all stages of grief through activities, games and discussion. In the end they say what they would've like to have said to their loved one, a farewell. The kids are then encouraged about their talents and gifts to use as they go back into the world.

I just want y'all to be aware that there are such camps available to help those with children. Every little thing can help! And, I don't think your loved one would have had to be in hospice to participate.

 

[sadiemae]

Very informative. I had never heard of this. With ALS our kids grieve a little bit every day when they are alive. Once they are gone the emotions are uninaginable. So glad he reached out to you and you found something that sounds perfect for him.

 

[LizT]

This is really cool CJ. My daughter is 11 also. She wasnt having many issues with Rays death, but recently she's been getting headaches because all of her friends are coming to her for support all the time, and she feels really overwhelmed with it all.
I asked her if she gets to talk about her problems with her friends, and she said no- she doesnt even try.
It broke my heart. Here my little girl is the "go to" girl for everyones problems, and now she herself is dealing with Rays death, us moving in a couple weeks, us not getting a home.... and she doesnt get support.
I check in with her every couple of days and assure her that she can speak with me, but she doesnt.
She's already hit the age that her friends are more important.

 

[kelly]

Thanks for that information. I am so sorry to hear that your sweetie is having such a tough time. Thinking of you honey!

 

[EGBAR]

Also don't forget to check with local churches which may be able to offer some type of group. A lot of them have these programs.

 

[mich5]

So glad you were able to find this for your son. So helpful to know that these programs are out there.

 

[brooksea]

Liz, Keep an eye on her, a GOOD eye! Outside influences have a way of sneaking up on a grieving child and I don't mean positive ones either.

 

[vzandt]

Brooksea, The fact that he came to you with his problem speaks volumes. Its very hard sometimes for boys to admit they hurt. You are doing all the right things.

 

[sadiemae]

My daughter ran away at age 13, before her Dad got sick, but after we lost our house. She was into so many things at such a young age. She is fine now, and when I question her, she is like"Mom, I did all my stupid stuff back when I was young!" She is going on 18 now!

 

[brooksea]

I think this did him a LOT of good! He brought home a pillow case with an iron on transfer of his daddy's picture (with fabric paint decorations). The kids were given their choice of a blanket to take home from "Project Linus." He also brought home a journal.

He seemed to be relieved of some pain and anger when I picked him up. He's just a kid, so we'll see how long that lasts.

 

[BeckyW]

My heart aches for the kids who loose a parent. CJ you are amazing...so many kids won't admit they need help but your son reached out. The camp sounds wonderful. Liz your daughter is in a tough place. I pray for all of you.

 

[joni51]

CJ that sounds like he made some progress, so glad for you both!

 

[AKjo]

CJ, I'm impressed that you were able to come up with the camp idea in such a short time, and it just happened to be THIS weekend! Unless they have the bereavement camp every weekend, that is quite a coincidence. I hope he continues to use some of the tools he learned over the weekend. It probably helped just to talk to other kids who understand what he is going through. Will keep you guys in my prayers.

 

[brooksea]

Jo, I knew about the camp a while back, but he did not want to go. No coincidence. Just opportunity, I suppose.

 

[cervus]

It's great your son is reaching out and that there are programs available for children who have lost a parent. Thanks for sharing. I hope your son gains a bit of strength at camp.