It can be very difficult to deal with family some times. My husband's daughter came to live with us, and help with her father's care 8 months ago. She is 21 and a beautiful girl with the best of intentions. I'm afraid that she has not learned how to work, having her first job at 19, and being tidied up after most of her life. I love her dearly, and we do enjoy each others company, as long as I don't need her to do something. We are totally different personalities, and I raised my kids much differently, where they had chores and they had to do them well.
We were actually paying her to be our house keeper, and gave her free room and board, so that she could save up for college and give me a break at the same time. At the end of the summer, and weekly "sit down talks" I told her we would no longer pay her, as she wasn't doing the work. We also had to hire a care giver to help Tim while I was at work, and she was doing the daughters work while she sat and watched TV. This has been such a irritation, that after talking with her father we decided to tell her that if she didn't improve she would have to return back to Texas when she went back for Christmas. We put a white board up, and a daily chore list that she would have to mark off, and she did much better. She will be returning after the holidays, but I am home full time now, and I cannot deal with the added stress of her not carrying the load, while I care for her father, do the paper work, shovel the driveway, and do the house work. We will continue to do the white board, but if she reverts to her previous ways she will have to go. Stress is a killer, and I know that if I am unhappy it will affect my husband, and ultimately be bad for him. Difficult times require difficult decisions. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
