Any/All Advice Gratefully Taken

[The Younger Sister]

Dear All - My sister (65 years old) refused to accept her diagnosis until last week when she was no longer able to get out of a chair or get out of bed. She was adamant about living on her own.She has been "homebound" for 2 years, unable to go up or down steps, and got around the house on a walker. Since I live about 15 minutes away, I would go everyday to bring in the mail, bring meals, clean the house, do laundry, make sure she was okay, etc. She refused to leave the house, except for a visit to her doctor (general practitioner) about a year ago. All that changed last week. She agreed it was not safe for her to live alone and that she needed to have help.She is able to stand on her own with a walker once I lift her up, but she is not able to do more than a slight shuffle-drag feet-walk. Our mother, who is almost 97 years old, lives in an assisted living (not skilled nursing) facility nearby. My sister agreed to go there. She has been there about a week and it is not working out so well. Some of the staff do not help her stand and complain about lifting her from her chair to the walker, etc. I am at a loss of what to do....she is finally ready to get help, but I don't know where to turn. Thank you for any advice you can provide.

 

[lgelb]

Hi, Sister, there are a lot of care facilities around where you are, so if she has financial resources, as one typically has to have in order to enter assisted living, I have no doubt you can find a good place.

However, PALS do not usually fare well in assisted living because the level of care provided doesn't match their physical needs. I understand the attraction of her being with your mom, but it may not be possible. Most often PALS find a good SNF (skilled nursing facility). Some transitional care hospitals may also be a possibility.

Here is the federal rating site: Find and compare Nursing Homes | Nursing Home Compare

For PA, look at Pennsylvania Nursing Home Inspector: Select Your County

Other options:

Would she be able to stay in her home, with 24/7 care? I gather it has steps -- could a ramp be installed or are they all over or what? Is it wheelchair accessible otherwise?

Could she live with you or any other relatives with appropriate home environments, even if paid caregiving was necessary?

If you can tell us more about the options, we can be more helpful. But I know getting her to accept help was no easy task, so thank you on her behalf.

Best,
Laurie

 

[The Younger Sister]

Thank you for your response. I really appreciate you taking the time to reply. I was able to get an appointment with her neurologist on Wednesday and feel much better that we can start to line things up now. I recently went through the Alzheimer journey with my Dad (six heartbreaking years), and am not able to do direct care again....I am getting older, also. I will be closely monitoring and overseeing everything and I am so grateful for all the people on this site who provide so much personal insights and advice. You are all amazing. Thank you.

 

[nona]

I live alone in my apartment and I have care in and out all day. It can be done, depending on resources. Once in a while I consider moving to a skilled nursing facility but then I talk myself out of it.