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thomkat

Member
Joined
Jan 25, 2007
Messages
21
Reason
CALS
Country
US
State
NC
City
Wilmington
I was my husband's 24/7 caregiver. While I did not post very much on the forum, I want you all to know that I read it every day and was encouraged, uplifted and counseled. I found your suggestions and answers to questions and issues that were facing me to be invaluable.

My husband Thomas passed away on Sunday, May 20th after a 2 and a half year battle with ALS. While it all happened very quickly, it was very peaceful. On Friday, he was just uncomfortable…nothing I did seemed to help…no matter what position I tried to move different body parts to, I still couldn’t get him satisfied. (I called this “miserable mode” which usually happened for a few hours about once a week.) On Saturday, he slept a little more than usual, but even when he was awake, it was as if he really wasn’t “engaged” with me. I would ask him questions and he would just give me a yes or no answer but with no additional commentary. He didn’t want me to set up his communication device or to try to use the letterboard. On Sunday, he just slept. When I gave him his medicine and fed him through the tube, he would make slight movements and “noises”, but he never opened his eyes. I watched him sleep and breathe all day long. In the end, there was no respiratory distress, no indication of pain…he just kept sleeping. I thank God for his mercy.

His memorial service was held at our church with approximately 700 people in attendance…a wonderful testament to the impact that he had in this community!

I want to thank each of you for everything that you did for us. Even though we've never met, your advice was often exactly what I needed. I continue to read the forum and if I see a question or issue that I think I can help you with, I will certainly post.

My Thomas fought ALS with tremendous courage and an unwavering faith in our God. My prayers are with all of you as you continue the journey.

Much love, thanks and admiration-

Kathy
 

LONGSAM2

Active member
Joined
Mar 18, 2007
Messages
39
Reason
PALS
Country
US
State
NJ
City
BRICK
Hi........I am so very sorry about the loss of your husband. May God be with you in the days to come. I'm sure all of us PALs hope to pass in the same wonderful way your husband did. It is, indeed, a blessing from God. Your husband must have been a wonderful man as he was held in such high esteem by so many people. Be assured he is resting in the arms of God. Sharon
 

CindyM

Moderator emeritus
Joined
Sep 17, 2006
Messages
3,543
Reason
Learn about ALS
Country
US
State
New England
City
Anytown
Hi Kathy. My heart goes out to you for the loss of your dear Thomas. Thankfully you and he were at peace during his last hours. He was a lucky man for having such an understanding and caring wife. Regards, Cindy
 

Al

Moderator emeritus
Joined
May 25, 2004
Messages
7,960
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
10/2003
Country
CA
State
On
City
NW of Toronto
Hi Kathy. I am so sorry for your loss of Thomas but glad you are willing to continue to visit here and possibly help the other caregivers with dealing with this terrible illness. We need people that have dealt with it to help the newly diagnosed and their loved ones to get through the day to day life with ALS. Thanks.
AL.
 

anne

Distinguished member
Joined
Jun 22, 2006
Messages
157
Country
CA
State
ontario
City
unionville
Hi Kathy: I am sorry for your loss. I am sure Thomas is watching over you. Take care of yourself. Anne
 

sherry0459

Active member
Joined
May 6, 2007
Messages
62
Diagnosis
03/2007
Country
US
State
Alabama
City
Jacksonville
Kathy, I think God had a special reason for that peace Thomas had in the last hours. He is a MERCIFUL God. And your right, now He has another Angel to watch over you and us. Thank for sharing this with us. God watch over you. sherry
 

lunarruna

Distinguished member
Joined
May 20, 2006
Messages
145
Reason
CALS
Country
US
State
xx
City
xxxx
Kathy--I feel like I know you just a bit as I remember some of your posts. I also knew from your posts that you took very good care of your husband and for that he was a lucky man.
I wish you strength and peace as you cope with this huge loss. Thank you for coming back to us and sharing your story, and please stay with us.
With Love and Sympathy, Beth (CALs to husband Shannon, diagnoseded 8/04)
 

liz

Senior member
Joined
Nov 9, 2006
Messages
642
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
11/2006
Country
US
State
NY
City
Albany
Kathy-

So sorry for the loss of your husband. It sounds like Thomas went on his own terms with your loving support to ease the way.

Take care,

Liz
 

saska

Active member
Joined
Jan 19, 2007
Messages
93
Reason
Lost a loved one
Country
US
State
Colorado
City
Lakewood
Kathy, it seems to me that you fought right alongside Thomas with tremendous courage and unwavering faith. You are in my prayers. Please take good care of yourself. God bless. Sharon
 

trustinggod

Distinguished member
Joined
Oct 21, 2006
Messages
154
Reason
Lost a loved one
Country
US
State
CA
City
Lake Forest
Kathy,

Please know that many of us here have traveled the road you are now on . . .we understand the mixed emotions and sadness that come with the loss of the one you've spent the last many, many months doing everything for. We also know the peace that comes from knowing we were there for them doing any and all that we could to help make their life more bearable.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers in the many months ahead as you and your children adjust to a very different life . . .

I'd give most anything to change the reality of ALS and have those I love back . . . however, at the end of the day, I know that God is in control and that I can trust Him.
REALLY, REALLY trust Him -- before ALS those were untested words, now, they are my strength and peace.

Take care of yourself Kathy, you fought the battle well and with courage. You've been an incredible example to your children and community. May God bless you and give you much peace and joy as you continue to live the life He gave you.

With heartfelt sorrow and admiration,
Jeanne
 
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