anger management this is funny but does have some cursing

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tabney

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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.

Like the time I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello." I politely said, "This is Jim, could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f***ing number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an *******!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word '*******' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an *******!" It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic '*******' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?" He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an *******!" and hung up.

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first ******* I had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW *******, too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" He said, "Yes, it is." I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?" He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oak tree Blvd, in Fairfax. It's a yellow ranch, and the car's parked right out in front." I asked, "What's your name?" He said, "My name is Don Hansen," I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" He said, "I'm home every evening after five."
> I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?" He said, "Yes?" I said, "Don, you're an *******!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two *******s to call.
Then I came up with an idea. I called ******* #1.
He said, Hello." I said, "You're an *******!" (But I didn't hang up.) He asked, "Are you still there?" I said, "Yeah,"
He screamed, "Stop calling me," I said, "Make me,"
He asked, "Who are you?" I said, "My name is Don Hansen."
He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?"
I said, "*******, I live at 34 Oak tree Blvd, in Fairfax, a yellow ranch, I have a black Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers." I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, *******," and hung up.

Then I called ******* #2. He said, "Hello?" I said, "Hello, *******," He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
I said, "You'll what?" He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass,"
I answered, "Well, *******, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oak tree Blvd, in Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oak tree Blvd. in Fairfax.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax. I got there just in time to watch two *******s beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.


NOW I feel much better. Anger management really does work.:mrgreen:
 

JACKIEMAX

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anger management

whether this story is true or not, it made my day. that is just the funniest thing i've read in a long time.

anger is definately a part of this disease. my husband was diagnosed in jan. 07, but his symptoms began in jan. 06. lately he has been extremely angry at just about everything, including our innocent little puppy who only wants us to love him, and pay attention to him. i finally had to sit my husband down and explain that it was not the puppy he was angry at, or anything else for that matter, it is this horrible, monster disese named ALS.

he is angry that he can no longer work in his garden, mow his beautiful lawn, trim his many bonsaiis, or just go for a walk on our property and listening to the birds sing.

anger is part of this, and we all need to recognize it, and just try our best to understand where it is coming from.

thanks to all my new forum friends for letting me be one of you.

jackiemax
 

CindyM

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You are welcome Jackie. I am proud to be part of this group, too. It really makes my day when folks post funny stories like the one tabney posted. Cindy
 

tabney

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anger is part of this disease

I agree totally. There are times we all feel angry that we are dealing with so much, sometimes too fast, and there is little we can do but take it day by day. That is why I post the funny threads. If one joke I post makes one person smile for just a moment, I am happy. We all need to smile! Just ask Mr. Green....:mrgreen: Toni
 

pye101

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I love that joke. I printed it out, two years ago and took it with me to Hospice. John silently laughed until he had tears streaming out of his eyes. He laughed on and off, every time he thought about that joke.

I sat out on the patio with a group of patients I'd adopted, while John was there. He was at Hospice for over nine months. I enjoyed bringing jokes to read to the other patients and that one was one of their favorites.

hugs,
Susan
 

TerryO

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Love that joke

i loved reading that joke again. It has been a few years since I've seen it.
Pye101, very sorry about your husband. My hubby was just diagnosed in december and I am so glad I found this site. I don't always have things to say but I love to read what everyone else has to say. Thanks for the great forum everybody! Oh and Mike I will
take an extra large double cream eh! thanks for the laugh. Terry
 

wyALSpt

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I love this, I'm going to have to try this...lol
 

Paty

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You sure made my day with this one Tabney

Tabney thanks you made me laugh till my stomach hurt.

I tried to answer your private message all day, but I don't know what's happenning I haven't been able to do it, when I click the reply, I get the IE message that there is something wrong with my connection, something weird since my connection is 100% okay.

I'll try tomorrow.

BUT will surely bake my Pillsbury Fudge Brownies next Thursday.

PATY

:roll:
 

lisa1215

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Oh my God- I am still giggling at this joke..I just copied it and pasted it and sent it off to friends and family in an email..That is one of the best jokes I have heard in a while..


Thank you for the belly laugh, I needed it today!

Lisa
 

Frizzel

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That was a JOKE?

Toni,

DOn't be messin with us. You know you are the one who started that whole incident! I, like Paty laughed so much my stomach also hurts. Did you know when you laugh you liver wiggles? Oh my, I'd better get off this forum RIGHT NOW! ha ha ha ha THANKS TONI! Tally HO! FULL STEAM AHEAD! What? no steam? then UP UP and away! What? can't get up? THEN*** Batteries charged? ONWARD !
 
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