Anger and sadness

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ctollar

Distinguished member
Joined
May 17, 2017
Messages
100
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
03/2017
Country
US
State
FL
City
North Port
This is such an ugly and devastating disease. I can literally feel him winding down..beyond heartbroken...how do you come to say your dad and hero is dying?
 
To yourself...
 
I think in a way, you don't. You can't. Don't worry about "acceptance". I can't accept this, never will. I accept that reality is reality, that it is what it is but truly reconcile to it! Never.

Just do what you need to do today and try to take a bit of pleasure in the smallest things even with your dad. If he is enjoying anything at all, it's a good moment. Take time to take care of you. We need all our strength to handle all this ugly devastation.
 
ctdollar, I'm new to the forum and just saw your post. I'm so sorry for your heartbreak. I feel your pain - my dad also has ALS. He was diagnosed 2 years ago and it's so hard seeing him deteriorate day by day. How old is your dad? When was he diagnosed? Your post was a few weeks ago. How have you been coping since then? My thoughts are with you and I hope you're doing okay.. please feel free to share your thoughts, anger, sadness, frustration here any time. You are among friends here.
 
You can come to say it to yourself in order to make sure you do and say what you want/need to before that opportunity is lost, and help your dad do likewise.

Apart from that, every day is 24h of opportunities to be with him and enrich his life, however long it is, by his measures.

Best.
Laurie
 
I had to practice saying "My husband has ALS". I did it in the car, by myself, and it took a LOT of effort. I practiced until i could say it out loud without falling apart.

We all deal differently. Try t focus on the life he has left instead of what he and you are losing. Otherwise, you will waste the time you have. I wouldn't assume to tell you not to grieve now, but once the initial shock wears off (and that takes time), get on with making memories and helping him live with disease at each stage.

My heart goes out to you. I have two stepdaughters, now in their 30's (almost 40) who lost their mother when they were 12 and 14. My two sons have become the men they are because of my husband. The hardest thing I've ever done was tell the four of them that he has ALS. We were unable to get them all together before one deployed, so I set up a group skype. I made sure the girls were together. I almost couldn't get the words out, and I saw them googling ALS as soon as the letters passed my lips. I could see the realization hit them, and it wa devastating. They have all four stepped in in their own ways to help. They are closer to him now than they have ever been. Nothing makes him happier than interacting with them and our grandchilden.

Help your hero do this with grace

Much love to you
Becky
 
He just turned 70 and the decline is rapid. Every day a piece of him is just gone.
 
I just turned 59, I don't expect to see 60. My kids are all in their late 20s, we just make the best of every moment that we can.

May God strengthen you and bless the time that you have left with your dad.

Tom
 
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