Al's Tips for Full contact Lawn Mowing

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Moderator emeritus
May 25, 2004
NW of Toronto
Al's Tips for Full Contact Lawn Mowing

First .you should wear a hat with a soft brim. This will help when you fall off riding mower and do a face plant on the branch you were leaning over to pick up.
Second .wear long pants so you rip the pants not your shin while tumbling off aforementioned mower.
Third. Always switch into neutral while stopped to try to pick up aforementioned branch. This will stop the mower from wildly going through ditch onto road and turning back down driveway and going back across lawn and into flower garden coming to rest on piece of driftwood just 3 feet from crashing through picture window.
Fourth. Always disengage blades when stopped to pick up branches. This will avoid mower mowing down flowers and bushes as it careens through garden.
Fifth. Always make sure that some other responsible adult (wife) is there to help you up off ground after taking a face plant onto branches.
Six. Make sure said responsible adult knows how to stop runaway mover. When mower is careening towards house is not the time to be telling wife which of the 6 levers is the throttle.
Seven. After mowing grass have a large glass of wine. It will help ease the pain but not the I told you so comments from responsible adult that runs down driveway saying Oh No How do I stop it?
Eight. Learn from the mistakes of others. You might not live long enough to make them all yourself.
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That must have been some ride!

I don't think I can add much to that post except:

1. My husband won't let me touch the lawn mower( and that is the way I like it!):mrgreen:

2. I like the glass of wine part of the story. :-D

Hope you weren't hurt and as I always say to my husband. "Listen to your wife, she is always right!":)

Barbie :)
Scrapes and bruises. Scrapes on forehead will still be there spoiling my good looks for the symposium. But some women like the rugged beat up look I hear.
Lawnmover ride

Great story! Love your sense of humour. I am glad it was only your dignity that was really hurt. I hope that was a LARGE glass of red wine.................ruby from vancouver
Yes it was large and more than one. When I got up this morning and complained about my aches and pains Lee asked in her sweetest voice, And how is your hangover? As luck would have it there was none or it was blocked out by the aches and pain.
Glad you weren't hurt too badly! Thanks for making fun of yourself and sharing it with us. Your post is a definite keeper!

Funny about the mower, I lost mine this week

:( I was starting to get off the mower to pick up a stick that was in the way, put in neutral, brake set, got off ...and you know the rest sounds like your story. My mower took off running across the yard headed right for my newly planted pecan tree. There I was trying to walk, (can't run) after it and catch it with my cane before it killed everything in the back yard and before my wife who told me not to cut the grass caught me. :oops:
Whew! Caught it with my cane and it stopped just as I fell and it dragged me across yard a short distance. Wish someone would have had a camera, might at least make somebody laugh. Next day gave riding lawnmower away. :-D
Al, thank you for always keeping all of us smiling.

Sandy and Hope.
If you're planting pecan trees you must be from Georgia or the deep south. I was in the same boat, can't run just do the penguin walk. Wouldn't that have been something if we both sent in silly video's to America's Funniest Video's. we'd have to split the $10,000. I think we've made a few laugh here anyway. Welcome to our forum. Al.
Holy cow, Al! I'm glad I read this after my students left my room...big belly guffaws right out loud! Although I have no clue what you look like (although I understand you're quite a handsome ladies man!) I could picture the whole thing in my head! Absolutely hilarious! I'm very glad that you didn't get hurt...and even more glad that you are able to laugh about the whole thing! Personally, I'd have picked up a glass of white wine...or possibly a each his own! Thanks for sharing, Al!

I kind of look like Dennis Franz from NYPD Blue with a Kojak hair cut. I try to see the humor or humour as we spell it in Canada in everyday things. If I can make someone here smile or have a belly laugh then I feel it's been a good day for us all. Have a good one Marcia and let me know how the voice banking comes out. Al.
Laughing so hard....gasping for breath....must remember to breathe...
... and you want to go fly with me!

Well yes. You didn't promise to let me drive so what's the problem? As a footnote to the story I backed the van into the garage today and looked over on the lawnmower and saw a box on the seat. I looked at the box and written in black marker was the note. Al. Wear this when mowing lawn. I turned the box upright and there in my own printing was M/C Helmet. Son in law had been cleaning garage the day before and found my old motorcycle helmet that I had kept as I have a couple of friends that used to loan me their bikes on occasion. Everybody's a comedian. Build a thousand bridges and no one calls you an engineer but lose control of one lawnmower and everyone jumps on the bandwagon. With the summer reruns on we need some good entertainment I guess.

I just read this I am catching up on some reading. Thank GOD you are ok... You always find the bright side of everything. Your great and always make me smile... Keep up the good work and please be more carful on the lawn mower:)

Let me ask you do you have any suggestions on how to make dad look as his little mishaps this way verses slamming doors, yelling at himself, beating his leg with the cain, and being in a bad mood for the rest of the day which in turns means a bad day for everyone especially me cause I hate to see him so unhappy......


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