Kristina1
Senior member
- Joined
- Jan 26, 2017
- Messages
- 822
- Reason
- PALS
- Diagnosis
- 03/2017
- Country
- US
- State
- MA
- City
- Grafton
If you feel comfortable sharing, how has ALS impacted your marriage or relationship with your significant other? I'm interested to hear from PALS and CALS both. If you're single, how has ALS impacted your romantic/sex life? For example, do you still date?
I've been reflecting on this lately. As awful as ALS is, my relationship with my husband is stronger than it's ever been before and I'm grateful for that. Around the time that I was diagnosed we were having problems in our relationship. But when I was diagnosed, all our problems suddenly seemed so petty and small. We cleaved together to face the fear and grief.
Since then our relationship has grown stronger and stronger. I think we both admire and respect each other a lot these days. I see the way my husband has stepped up to support me and take care of our family and I'm in awe of him. He works full time, cares for me, cares for our 3 kids one of whom has special needs, has taken over the household duties (cooking, cleaning, laundry). And most days he does it with a smile on his face. Similarly he admires me for how I handle my disease (I find myself FAR less worthy of admiration compared to him but that's another topic).
ALS ruins your sense of private bodily dignity. My husband has sat on his knees in front of the toilet holding my legs bent and lifted at a particular angle that allowed me to bear down and poop because I was constipated...oh, and did I say constipated? let's not forget the enemas he's administered and the times he's had to wipe my bum because we weren't at home with our blessed bidet. But somehow this has increased our intimacy. I've had to let down so many walls between us. Despite how utterly UN-sexy caring for a person with ALS is, it's brought us so close and that intimacy bears fruit in the bedroom. Our sex life is surprisingly kind of great right now, even though I have such limited mobility and even though he's seen me at my most rock-bottom unsexiest.
So lately I've been reflecting on this, and the irony that it's only now that I'm dying that we've finally achieved the relationship I always wanted for us.
I've been reflecting on this lately. As awful as ALS is, my relationship with my husband is stronger than it's ever been before and I'm grateful for that. Around the time that I was diagnosed we were having problems in our relationship. But when I was diagnosed, all our problems suddenly seemed so petty and small. We cleaved together to face the fear and grief.
Since then our relationship has grown stronger and stronger. I think we both admire and respect each other a lot these days. I see the way my husband has stepped up to support me and take care of our family and I'm in awe of him. He works full time, cares for me, cares for our 3 kids one of whom has special needs, has taken over the household duties (cooking, cleaning, laundry). And most days he does it with a smile on his face. Similarly he admires me for how I handle my disease (I find myself FAR less worthy of admiration compared to him but that's another topic).
ALS ruins your sense of private bodily dignity. My husband has sat on his knees in front of the toilet holding my legs bent and lifted at a particular angle that allowed me to bear down and poop because I was constipated...oh, and did I say constipated? let's not forget the enemas he's administered and the times he's had to wipe my bum because we weren't at home with our blessed bidet. But somehow this has increased our intimacy. I've had to let down so many walls between us. Despite how utterly UN-sexy caring for a person with ALS is, it's brought us so close and that intimacy bears fruit in the bedroom. Our sex life is surprisingly kind of great right now, even though I have such limited mobility and even though he's seen me at my most rock-bottom unsexiest.
So lately I've been reflecting on this, and the irony that it's only now that I'm dying that we've finally achieved the relationship I always wanted for us.