ALS and Anger

Status
Not open for further replies.

Breakaway

New member
Joined
Oct 21, 2021
Messages
2
Reason
Loved one DX
Diagnosis
00/0000
Country
CA
State
BC
City
Surrey
My brother was diagnosed with ALS in 2019. I spent three months living with him and taking care of him 24/7 Until one day he got very angry and kicked me out, that was in November 2021. He has blocked me on his phone, and when I go to his house he does not have his care worker answer the door and screams out get lost. He is now no longer talking to anyone in our family. I don’t know what to do, as I want to be in my brothers life.
 

Bleue

Member
Joined
Feb 16, 2022
Messages
16
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
04/2021
Country
US
State
VA
City
Alexandria
Just keep trying. He’s very angry, will probably be angry forever. It might even change to apathy. There’s nothing you can do except be there for him, understand what he’s going thru, and love him. Time flies too fast and you don’t want to have any regrets. Once you are back in his life, he might be open to a suggestion that he try anti-depressants and maybe therapy so he can express himself. Which may be hard if he’s non-verbal.
 

Breakaway

New member
Joined
Oct 21, 2021
Messages
2
Reason
Loved one DX
Diagnosis
00/0000
Country
CA
State
BC
City
Surrey
My brother is very much like my father, when he holds a grudge he holds it for a very long time. When I was living with him and taking care of him, I suggested anti-depressants and he hit the roof. So I never brought it up again. I am trying so very hard to get back in his life as time is a factor.
 

lgelb

Moderator
Forum Supporter
Joined
Nov 5, 2009
Messages
12,287
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
00/0000
Country
US
State
WA
City
Seattle
If he is no longer talking with anyone in the family, it's not just you. Who is his health care proxy? Even if you have no role in his care, you can still speak to the clinic coordinator and express your concerns about his state of mind, so at least they are aware. There could be cognitive issues or personality changes, or both.
 
Last edited:

lgg

Active member
Joined
Mar 19, 2020
Messages
39
Reason
CALS
Diagnosis
11/2017
Country
US
State
TX
City
San Antonio
Have you considered writing to him? You could say newsy things or funny things, but nothing about him and his situation. Do this on a regular basis (2-3x a week or 1x a week). Don’t expect anything in return. My brother rejected me and I didn’t do anything but respect his wishes. He’s gone now and I live with regret.
 

Janders

Member
Joined
Mar 4, 2021
Messages
17
Reason
CALS
Diagnosis
02/2021
Country
US
State
NJ
City
HOPATCONG
This is very difficult, to be cut off like this when you only want to support. I appreciate your intention to support and your caring.

I encourage you to be patient as you hold him in your loving thoughts. My husband was very angry for over a year. He is better now. Antidepressants helped but it just took a long time for him to accept the diagnosis. During this time I worked on my own acceptance and how I would support myself . This helped. When he finally was calm I was here waiting. Keep checking in only to drop off a favorite food or book or something you know he values, but also make peace inside yourself and don't allow yourself to be on the receiving end of abuse. We have to find the ability to allow them to have the journey they choose while still loving them and managing our own very strong feelings.
 

Jman37

New member
Joined
May 10, 2022
Messages
7
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
01/2009
Country
US
State
GA
City
Atlanta
I'm a pals myself, and get angry sometimes over very little.things. I have no cognitive impairment, but the disease can get me charged sometimes. I am cared for by my elderly mother and nurses and try my best to be nice. ALS just messes with ones head badly. I have had it well over a decade and have learned how to lean into the diagnosis a bit. I'm sorry your dealing with this situation. Time may make things better.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top