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Almost knocked him out

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10steps

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Joined
Jan 1, 2011
Messages
137
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
04/2010
Country
US
State
MA
ARGH!
Ok, I literally had to grab onto the sides of my shorts or I was gonna jump across the table and throw a punch to his jaw that would knock him out of his chair!
I ran into one of my husband's relatives in a parking garage(I just finished hiking and was stopping to pick up my paycheck). Because I had nothing else going on, when she invited me walk across the street to have dinner withan elderly aunt and her husband, I had no excuses so accepted.
The aunt is in her late eighties and the couple are about 25 years older than me...67.
As conversation goes, Peter asks who i'm dating now. HUH!?WTF? I just politely respond "I am not in that space yet." Peter continues on about how my husband and I had such a wonderful relationship and why don't i start looking for another?WTF? Ok, I'll chalk it up to this guy being old and ditsy.
Then after other conversation Peter asked me who the guy was at the bonfire in October and that he seems concerned and noticed he was helping me. "Oh, that was my husband's best friend, they grew up together, worked together. yes, he's very helpful." (I might point out my husband died 7 days before that bonfire which is a huge annual event we put on for the community).
Peter then says,"Why don't you date him?""" WTF?
I reply," He's married, with kids, one is my godchild."
i'm so pissed at that point. He's still sitting next to his spouse and i'm not sure at what point he ever felt he had the right to ask me questions like that. douche bag.
Of course i'm invited to their party and he tells me I can bring a date....ARRGH!
No thanks. I'd rather pull ticks from the dog.
 

ottawa girl

Very helpful member
Joined
Jun 14, 2012
Messages
1,506
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
04/2012
Country
CA
State
Ontario
Gosh - some people are so stupid and insensitive. Feel free to walk away next time ( and stick them with restaurant bill to boot!)

Speaking of stupid -a distant acquaintance I met the other day on the street told me she heard about mt recent ALS diagnoses. While level headed folks typically say I'm sorry to hear that blah blah blah - she actually said (I kid you not!) " ALS is actually mind over matter and in most cases is psychosomatic". I thanked her for her opinion and then asked her "which third world university afforded you a medical degree with a specialty in neurology or was it a certification in idiocy that you received" and then I walked away with my head held high. (and snickered loudly!) ARGGH!

Relax - and forget it. You're better than those clods!

Elaine
 

momap53

Very helpful member
Joined
Jul 2, 2011
Messages
1,640
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
05/2011
Country
US
State
GA
10 steps...I'm speechless!

Elaine...you go girl!
 

AKjo

Distinguished member
Joined
Nov 3, 2010
Messages
379
Reason
Lost a loved one
Country
US
State
Alaska
Elaine, I'd say that was a pretty darn good comeback! You did yourself proud.
 

AKjo

Distinguished member
Joined
Nov 3, 2010
Messages
379
Reason
Lost a loved one
Country
US
State
Alaska
10steps, I think you showed great restraint that they didn't deserve. Unbelievable!
 

brooksea

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Joined
Sep 27, 2006
Messages
5,171
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Other
Country
HM
The insensitivity of people continues to amaze me, every single day! It sounds like the guy was fishing to see if you were already "into" someone else. Perhaps he was looking for a little tidbit of gossip to take back and spread around with the family.

Hang in there and try not to let them get under your skin. (Difficult - I know!)
 

tammyg

Distinguished member
Joined
Jun 10, 2011
Messages
374
Country
US
State
md
What an A.H. How about asking how you are doing,? do you need anything.? Does he realize it only been 9 months since you lost the LOVE OF YOUR LIFE. Does he think it is like replacing a light bulb or something? Your hubby's friend is a great friend and knew that you needed support (unlike them)Some people never even want to go on a date after losing their love. Some things can not be replaced. It should have been a nice lunch not prying. THese people are crazy. How about a little understanding here. His wife had to be blown away and be thinking if something happens to her will he be on a date the following week-end. Not to mention what you have been through while he was alive not to mention what you are still going through now and your mourning.If they helped out a little maybe they would know what you went through with your hubby and this horrible disease. Keep your chin up and let the low lives stay on the ground where they belong....
 

Katie C

Very helpful member
Joined
Aug 1, 2009
Messages
1,560
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
07/2009
Country
US
State
CA
ugh! I'm so sorry
 

pmbenb83

Distinguished member
Joined
Aug 6, 2007
Messages
399
Diagnosis
03/2008
Country
US
State
VA
10Steps, I'm so sorry this POS had the nerve, not once but several times, to be cruel to you! What a jerk! His wife is such a lucky lady. I guess if something should happen to her (God forbid), he will be ready to move on in an instant. People are crazy!

Good for you Elaine! You go girl!
 

HarlequinHeart

Active member
Joined
Jul 12, 2010
Messages
40
Reason
Loved one DX
Diagnosis
7/2010
Country
US
State
NE
Wow... with his wife right there, I would have been tempted to ask "Oh, so if your beautiful wife here were to pass before you, it would only take nine months for you to find someone else? Is that what you're saying?"

People have no idea how to put themselves in someone elses shoes, and I get that.. but if you're really that incapable of understanding, don't open your mouth!

Sorry to hear about your loss, and the frustration you've put up with since! <3
 
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