lola64
Member
- Joined
- Oct 10, 2007
- Messages
- 20
- Diagnosis
- 06/2007
- Country
- CA
- State
- Newfoundland
- City
- St. John's
Does anyone have any tips on how to get my parents to finally just give in and accept homecare or hospice?
It's been close to two years and they have pushed away many friends and family with their inability to give in and accept outside professional assistance. Many of the friends and family who were initially helping in the beginning have reached their limits and understandably no longer want to help those who won't reach out and help themselves.
I am frustrated today because TODAY, I had to do something that I've dreaded coming.. my Dad needed to use the bathroom, which to this point, I have brought him INTO the bathroom (pretty much daily for the past year) so that he could use it, but today, I had to actually insert something into the 'pot' so to speak, so that he could relieve himself. I understand how frustrating and hard this is for him/ them; but personally this is my limit and I never want to have to do this particular 'thing' for my Dad. This, to me, is my limit and is too too much to ask from me.
I have reached and surpassed many limits and obstacles already with assisting him that I never thought I would overcome before, but this one is too personal for me and I don't want to see THIS part of Dad (I'm his daughter). This one is just too personal, too emotional, and feels WAY BEYOND too much to ask from me. I know to this point I have enabled them to go without hospice, being there for them when they need me, etc.. how do I give up the guilt of 'being there for them', take back my life, and make them get help? I'm sorry if this sounds selfish, I'm just done with living up to 'too high' expectations. I need to deal with this too..
Any suggestions?
Thanks, love to you all...
It's been close to two years and they have pushed away many friends and family with their inability to give in and accept outside professional assistance. Many of the friends and family who were initially helping in the beginning have reached their limits and understandably no longer want to help those who won't reach out and help themselves.
I am frustrated today because TODAY, I had to do something that I've dreaded coming.. my Dad needed to use the bathroom, which to this point, I have brought him INTO the bathroom (pretty much daily for the past year) so that he could use it, but today, I had to actually insert something into the 'pot' so to speak, so that he could relieve himself. I understand how frustrating and hard this is for him/ them; but personally this is my limit and I never want to have to do this particular 'thing' for my Dad. This, to me, is my limit and is too too much to ask from me.
I have reached and surpassed many limits and obstacles already with assisting him that I never thought I would overcome before, but this one is too personal for me and I don't want to see THIS part of Dad (I'm his daughter). This one is just too personal, too emotional, and feels WAY BEYOND too much to ask from me. I know to this point I have enabled them to go without hospice, being there for them when they need me, etc.. how do I give up the guilt of 'being there for them', take back my life, and make them get help? I'm sorry if this sounds selfish, I'm just done with living up to 'too high' expectations. I need to deal with this too..
Any suggestions?
Thanks, love to you all...