- Joined
- Nov 12, 2015
- Messages
- 658
- Reason
- CALS
- Diagnosis
- 11/2015
- Country
- US
- State
- CA
- City
- San Diego
One week ago I lost my PALS. It's still so hard to believe he is gone. I keep expecting to walk in the bedroom and see him with that little smile despite the bipap mask.
I spent the week preparing for the funeral, which is in another week. My family wanted to come and asked for time to get here. I also spent a lot of time second guessing things.. what if I had or hadn't done something. Then the caregiver came over yesterday to pick up some things, and she was saying the same thing, and told me she was very upset. So I sat down with her and talked her through it and explained to her that he wasn't doing well at all for the past few days, with recurrent UTIs and was very anxious and asking for morphine a lot. I told her that he was thinking of stopping the bipap and that now he doesn't have to make that decision. After I spoke with her we both felt better.
I went to church for the first time in 3 years yesterday and started to tear up a little. I hope I won't be too emotional at the services but will make sure I bring lots of tissues.
V
I spent the week preparing for the funeral, which is in another week. My family wanted to come and asked for time to get here. I also spent a lot of time second guessing things.. what if I had or hadn't done something. Then the caregiver came over yesterday to pick up some things, and she was saying the same thing, and told me she was very upset. So I sat down with her and talked her through it and explained to her that he wasn't doing well at all for the past few days, with recurrent UTIs and was very anxious and asking for morphine a lot. I told her that he was thinking of stopping the bipap and that now he doesn't have to make that decision. After I spoke with her we both felt better.
I went to church for the first time in 3 years yesterday and started to tear up a little. I hope I won't be too emotional at the services but will make sure I bring lots of tissues.
V