A little humour.................

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Snowbird

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I just thought that posting a little humour might help us to think of some other things.

__________________________________________________


...............EuroEnglish.......................


The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, 's' will be used instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard 'c' will be replaced with 'k.' Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced by 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' by 'z' and 'w' by 'v'. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou', and similar changes vud of kors; be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil b no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru.
 

Snowbird

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DON'T MESS WITH MOM



My son came home from school one day, with a smirk upon his face.

He decided he was smart enough, to put me in my place.

"Guess what I learned in Civics Two, that's taught by Mr. Wright?

It's all about the laws today, The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'


It says I need not clean my room, don't have to cut my hair

No one can tell me what to think, or speak, or what to wear.

I have freedom from religion, and regardless what you say,

I don't have to bow my head, and I sure don't have to pray.


I can wear earrings if I want, and pierce my tongue &nose.

I can read &watch just what I like, get tattoos from head to toe.

And if you ever spank me, I'll charge you with a crime.

I'll back up all my charges, with the marks on my behind.


Don't you ever touch me, my body's only for my use,

not for your hugs and kisses, that's just more child abuse.


Don't preach about your morals like your Mama did to you.

That's nothing more than mind control, And it's illegal too!

Mom, I have these children's rights, so you can't influence me,

or I'll call Children's Services Division, better known as C.S.D."


Of course my first instinct was to toss him out the door.

But the chance to teach him a lesson made me think a little more.

I mulled it over carefully, I couldn't let this go.

A smile crept upon my face; he's messing with a pro.


Next day I took him shopping at the local Goodwill Store.

I told him, "Pick out all you want, there's shirts & pants galore.

I've called and checked with C.S.D. who said they didn't care

if I bought you K-Mart shoes instead of those Nike Airs.


I've canceled that appointment to take your driver's test.

The C.S.D. is unconcerned so I'll decide what's best."

I said "No time to stop and eat, or pick up stuff to munch.

And tomorrow you can start to learn to make your own sack lunch.


Just save the raging appetite, and wait till dinner time.

We're having liver and onions, a favorite dish of mine."


He asked "Can I please rent a movie, to watch on my VCR?"

"Sorry, but I sold your TV, for new tires on my car.

I also rented out your room; you'll take the couch instead.

The C.S.D. requires just a roof over your head.


Your clothing won't be trendy now; I'll choose what we eat.

That allowance that you used to get, will buy me something neat.

I'm selling off your jet ski, dirt-bike &roller blades.

Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights', It's in effect

Hey hot shot, are you crying, Why are you on your knees?

Are you asking God to help you out, instead of C.S.D..?"





From a MOM (Mean Old Mother.)
 

Al

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Hi Pat. That wasn't you that crashed the site over the weekend was it? I for one didn't find that humourous at all. Love to catch the person. I'd show them what a sense of humour really is.
 

Snowbird

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What ? I have no idea what you are talking about. I am not crazy, and never harmful. Never!

Good grief, look what I have just been through. This WAS a good day.......................

I even went to the Health Science Center today and thanked the Cancer Care nurses for the wonderful care they had given Jack. He was very fond of them. I even got 3 hugs today! They all liked Jack.

Pat :?
 

Al

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I was just kidding. Guess you are not used to my brand of humour. Sorry.
 

Snowbird

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Hi Al! Some days I am down to my last frayed nerve. Sorry I took it the wrong way.

Shalom!

Pat
 

Al

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Joined
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Not a problem. I sometimes forget that some people might be having a bad day. One of the bad things about the internet. I probably would have picked up on your mood if we had been talking on the phone. Once again sorry. Hope tomorrow is a brighter day. Al.
 
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