50 and widowed

[gooseberry]

Just had my 50th birthday. Never imagined my life would take the turns it has in the last 20 years.

I am so thankful for my son. He has come through so much and is kind, compassionate, and empathetic.

I have finally begun to feel like a real person again.....not a caregiver. After the deaths of my mom,dad, sister, and steve I am thankful I have found a way to enjoy life and feel good about me.

Life isnt what I imagined at 50 but its pretty darn good.....for that I am thankful.

 

[soonerwife]

So glad you are doing well. It gives us hope!

 

[Jlynn]

Happy Birthday Gooseberry! It sounds like you have been through a lot but still try to keep a positive attitude. I admire that. Your Son sounds awesome. You take care of yourself. It sounds like it's finally your time.

 

[NothingButLove]

Thanks for sharing this... It's so hard to imagine life after ALS. Happy birthday!

Rob

 

[affected]

Happy birthday indeed Steph, it sounds like you are finding a beautiful place to be and I'm so glad for you xxx

 

[Narrowminded]

Happy Birthday Steph, I'm so happy to hear you are making progress with moving forward after ALS. It's good to know it's possible and working for you.

Hugs,

Sue

 

[Atsugi]

Steph, we might be on parallel courses. I came to FL for the purpose of assisting my old folks, and ended up burying them plus my wife.

Also my boys have been the best.

I hope life continues to get better for you; we deserve it.

 

[Manhattanite]

Thank you for giving us hope. I am a widower at 49 and the thought of rebuilding my life as a single person is unbearable to me at this moment.

 

[Staying strong]

Happy Birthday!!... I was 50 also when my Lizzy passed.. My Kids for better or worse grew up quick during the 5 year ALS journey. They miss Mommy but speak of her with big smiles and how they know she is with them every day.. As for Me I've tried to look at this point in my life as the start of the second half of my life. Yes it's without Liz. But I promised her I wouldn't wallow in grief and show the kids that life must and will continue. I Don't think people come much stronger than us as CALS.. we've already proven our strength and commitment to our PALS. Now we need to exercise those qualities for ourselves and family. Wishing You Well..

 

[gooseberry]

Manhattan.....what brings you joy? What did you give up because your partner couldnt stand it? Those are the kinds of things we are embracing. Botanical gardens, architecture, refurbished old buildings, wandering without a purpose, having a picnic, listening to the ocean....for me it isnt exactly the thing I am doing it is that I can do it.....I appreciate things much more. We have been kayaking, flying in old planes, and making plans to whitewater raft in Canada. My son and I love caving.

Staying strong.....I cant imagine starting a new relationship. I have made lots of new friends but nothing romantic. I am just not there. We all make progress at different rates and at different times in different ways.

Mike...I am enjoying the freedom and independence that comes with less responsibility. I know that sounds crazy but the amount of work, the emotional turmoil, and stress are greatly reduced.My mom passed away the day before I found out I was pregnant, my grandma 18 days after he was born, and my dad 6 mo ths after. It was an ugly 13 months. I find that the supposed joyous times in my life are defined by death. It makes me appreciate feeling alive and healthy.

I was a mess when Steve first died. Now, it seems like forever since he was physically here and healthy. I think I started to find closure relatively early on the als path because we had crisis after crisis since my son was born. Life can be good post als, I think I just needed to allow myself to be happy.

 

[Atsugi]

Thanks, Steph. I understand how many crises can change perspective.

You said: "I just needed to allow myself to be happy." YES!

 

[4tloml]

Happy (Belated) Birthday! It is a joy to read you are taking care of yourself and embracing this new season of your life. You and your son sound like a fun-loving adventuring team. You both have gone through so much and are stronger for having faced it all. Wishing you all the best in your new year...new decade!

 

[gooseberry]

So today starts a new chapter of sorts. Julien and I have joined a gym. We will see how it goes.

 

[soonerwife]

Sounds like a '"step" in the right direction!

 

[scaredwifetx]

Happy belated birthday and so happy to hear you are doing better and able to move forward.