3 years and........

Jlynn

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Lost a loved one
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3 years tomorrow since I lost my brother to ALS and....I still feel deep sadness over missing him...still feel deep sadness when I think about what ALS does to a human being....still wished I’d massaged his deteriorating legs with his favorite lotion every day....still wish I’d known then some of the things I know now when caring for him....so wish I’d been holding his hand when he took his last breath instead of resting outside his door. Theres more “so wishes “. After 3 years I’m still feeling the aftershocks over what we went through together. ALS leaves this lasting effect that is making me wonder if I will ever be able to speak of it without tearing up. I miss him and I hate that he’s missing so much. Watching his two youngest grow up (they are now 14 and 17) and two new grand babies (his first). The tenacles of ALS seem to reach far and wide. To help myself push through I have raised money for ALS by growing beautiful zinnias and putting them out at the end of my drive for donations. I plan on a $1000 donation for doing something I love to help get rid of something I hate. I just needed to vent to the only people I feel totally get it. Thanks for listening! ❤
 

lgelb

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Any time, J. We all wish we had done some things differently, but the things that really mattered, we know we did right. I know you did, too. It is great that you are able to help his kids and support a better future for others with your beautiful flowers!

Best,
Laurie
 

affected

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JLynn it is incredible how far into our soul the effects of this disease sinks isn't it?
3 years is such early days, it is still a raw wound. I really hear what you are saying.
I can talk about Chris quite freely now, but it has only been the past couple of years, and still occasionally a little tear can spring to the eye depending on what context.
Your zinnia project is a really beautiful way to do something you know can make a difference - it's also another healing thing you can do for yourself at the same time.
Much love to you - we never 'get over it' but we do learn to live with what happened and then find much beauty and joy in the world 💜❤
 

COSister

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One year for me missing my sister Kay. Every day. Think I will feel the same after 3. Appreciate all of you sharing this same loss and grief. 💔💜
 

Jlynn

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Messages
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Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
12/2015
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NH
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Wolfeboro
Here it is. The day of. I almost feel a bit relieved when it arrives as it means that Mikes journey had ended by this time and I was grateful that he was done with it and had moved on to heaven and was dancing again. I hope he’s still dancing today. Usually the optimistic one I can honestly say that the ALS journey has been the toughest thing I have been handed thus far in my life (and I had a good friend murdered 11 years ago) and has been the toughest thing to bounce back from. Some days I’m still bouncing. Thinking about all of you wonderful people here today a long with my little brother.
 

JimInVA

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Good to hear from you. And good that you haven't forgotten, difficult as that can be, yet are still able to move on. I'm not there, yet, but I take pride in your ability to find something that fills you with joy (the growth of your beautiful zinnias) and can also be used to give back. Well done!

My best...

Jim
 

affected

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yeah, bouncing back means we go up and down and we hit the wall, sometimes the floor!
I have always found the lead up to any big dates harder than the actual date. Glad you made it through another 💜
 

KateEmerson

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Thinking of you J and hope today went ok for you. Kate
 

Jrzygrl

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X
Both "I wish I had" and "Why didn't I" haunt me too. I have to keep telling myself that I did the best that I could at the time. And I'm sure you did too. This disease wears on you like nothing else. Although all of our ALS journeys are different, the cruelty of the disease is the same.

Sending you big hugs today and always! 💕
 
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