beauty4everyone
Distinguished member
- Joined
- Jul 5, 2018
- Messages
- 264
- Reason
- PALS
- Diagnosis
- 04/2018
- Country
- US
- State
- GA
- City
- Someplace
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?”
Because every play has a cast.
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.
“Get out of here!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.”
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. For days he kept leaving little messages around the house.
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a whiskey and … cola.”
“Why the big pause?” asks the bartender.
The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure; I was born with them.”
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?
He was just going through a stage.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed a little space.
Where are average things manufactured?
The satisfactory.
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
How do you keep a bagel from getting away?
Put lox on it.
A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”
The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you …”
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly-squats.
Stay tuned for future smiles
B
