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Lkaibel

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I’m sorry this turned truly horrific for you and your family. It sounds to me like you are making really sound decisions.
 

adrivtham

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Becky, I am so sorry you are going thru this, it is such a horrific time. Big hug and a prayer for the end of this painful time.
 

gooseberry

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One day at a time, Becky. Steve got pretty cruel also. Remember, its the disease. It still hurts but its the changes from the disease. Sending you lots of hugs.

P.s. No one in Steves family would write an obituary....it took me 5 months.
 

Nuts

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Things have quieted down with increased medications. He's not getting 20mg of long acting morphine in the morning and 60 in the evening, in addition to 2mg of Clonazepam three times a day, 1.5mg Sertraline in the evening, and 1mg short acting liquid morphine every four hours (and Ativan as needed at this point). He was getting the liquid morphine on request, but the last time he was awake he expressed that since he can't ask for it when he sleeps, he is in pain each time he wakes.

Our oldest daughter came for two days and is staying through next week, and she is being a huge help. I was worried as she has been in denial for a long time, but she is right here with me and supportive of everything She is even cleaning and straightening! Her sister arrives tonight for a couple of days, his dad and youngest brother arrive Tuesday for a visit (dad is staying with his other brother). Our youngest son and his family come next weekend, and old friend of his the week after, and our other son and his family right after Thanksgiving. That just leaves his best and oldest friend who was already book to arrive the first Monday in December. If Matt is still with us then, that friend will be with us when we set him free.

I don't think I mentioned that the kitchen is being renovated right now as well as a couple other projects being done. We are smack in the middle of that. I want it done so he can see it. It's the last project he planned and wanted to get finished.

Right now things are peaceful. Hospice is on board, and I'll contact the local funeral home tomorrow about having him picked up and transported to Virginia where he wants his service to be held.

Now I'm going to go try to finish the window treatments that I'm making for the living room. Everything colorful and bright.

I don't think I ever shared the final picture of the quilt I was making last Spring for my niece's wedding. I finally finished it and sent it off a couple of weeks ago. Heidi has never posed for a picture before, but she had to get in on this one.
 

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affected

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I'm glad that regime is working - just remember Becky this will likely be titrated regularly now. Don't be distressed about this, it is normal and it is necessary to give you both the best possible last month.

I'm so glad everyone's rallying, so very glad xxx
 

wishmobbing

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Wow, Becky, kudos on the logistics behind all the visitors and projects. Hope you get some calm time once in a while.
 

Narrowminded

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Becky it sounds like you have a good plan for the up coming month with all the visitors etc.

The quilt is beautiful. So bright and cheerful.

Hopefully the kitchen will be finished quickly and Matt will be able to see what’s been done.

Sending hugs and prayers
 

Nuts

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Tillie, we have already starting having to adjust dosages pretty regularly. We're hoping that hospice will provide the quicker link to the doc for med changes (the nurses can't administer new dosages without the doctors order each time).

Last night Matt started fussing about insurance policies. He's not clear, of course, but he wanted me to review and renew and get out all of his life insurance. Then he started worrying about whether my handgun could actually knock someone down since he can no longer protect me.

He's wrapping things up.
 

Narrowminded

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Becky. - what a wonderful man you have. Checking on your future and safety. Praying for you both.

Hugs
 

NothingButLove

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Becky, I'm sorry you're going through all this. It just sounds crazy... It must be so difficult taking care of someone who isn't mentally the person you know and love anymore. I can't image it. You must be a very strong person. Hugs, hugs, hugs...

Sometimes I feel I got so unlucky with my wife having ALS. I only need to come to the forum to realize how lucky I was.

Rob
 
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KimT

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Becky,

You, Matt, and your whole circle of family/friends are in my prayers.
 

Lkaibel

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I am glad family surrounds you. Your Heidi looks a whole lot like our Tayo, and what a beautiful quilt!

Matt sounds like a wonderful man, thinking of you and your safety to the end.
 

affected

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Oh yes that quilt is stunning! I can't even imagine where one begins, totally in awe.

I also can't imagine people having guns of any kind for protection. We are so lucky in Australia that there this is not allowed. People can have gun licences, but not for personal protection.

Thinking of you every single day during this month xxx
 

Nuts

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Today my sweetie has slept all day (and pretty much all day yesterday). His face is starting to puff up, and I'm told that we are looking for signs that he is unconscious rather than sleeping.

I just called one son and explained that his plan to visit right after Thanksgiving might be too late.

I won't pressure any of them, especially since I don't know if Matt will even be awake to interact with them. Wednesday when his dad is here will try backing off the morphine, but we did that today and his heart rate went up. I'm not going to cause him pain for goodbyes.

Now I'm trying to think of what I should be doing, and I don't want to do any of it. So I won't. Sigh.

I'm amazed to find us here, now. It seems only yesterday that I was the lurker making my first post.
 

affected

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So many hugs.

Just do what feels right, and if that's nothing or lots it's perfect. No pressure, this is your last month with Matt, don't let anything 'should' on you xxx
 
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