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i swear we are fighting two pandemics: coronavirus and stupidity

struggling to get your wife's attention ? ? ? just sit down and make it look like you are comfortable. works every time.

i grew up with bob hope, steve jobs, and jonny cash. now we have no jobs, no cash, and no hope. please don't let anything happen to keven bacon!

now let me get this straight - you've eaten bologna all your life, but you refuse a vaccine because you don't know what's in it?

complaining about a problem without offering a solution is called - whining. t. roosevelt

rain was pouring and there was a big puddle in front of the pub just outside the Navy base. A ragged old Marine Gunnery Sgt. was standing near the edge with a fishing rod, his line in the puddle. A curious young Navy fighter pilot came over to him and asked what he was doing. “Fishing,” the...

sign in music shop gone Chopin, be Bach in a Minuet

If you jumped off a bridge in Paris yo would be in Seine.

a little girl asks her mother "mommy, who is my daddy?" mommy replied "i don't, honey, he was wearing a mask."