Hi Linda, thanks for your message...I hate to disappoint you, but I may come over as upbeat, but my husband would tell you otherwise. Not many days go by when I dont have lots of tears, mourning my life which is going to be lost, which I am not ready to give up. The sadness really is bad when my 3 year old grandson, who I was extremely close to, looks at me all confused and sometimes worried as he does not understand what is going on. Then we just had a new grandson 3 weeks ago and other due in 3 weeks, knowing that I wont see them grow up, breaks my heart. We have been married 38 years, and that also upsets me to think of him going on without me.