- Joined
- May 9, 2016
- Messages
- 1,529
- Reason
- Lost a loved one
- Diagnosis
- 06/2016
- Country
- US
- State
- MN
- City
- Minneapolis
In just a few weeks it will be a year since Brian passed.
At Christmas I said I would not be back, but activism in my local ALSA and in supporting Medical Aid in Dying has kept my “tribe” from the Forum often in my thoughts.
I’m here to say this is insanely difficult, but coping with the loss, just as coping with ALS itself is do-able. Yes, we can.
My love for my husband was -is beyond anything. Maybe even more intense because we did not have children (not that I have that experience for comparison, so I cannot truly know). Yet still we rise.
The everyday has truly helped me. Just as I feel the dark pit of grief Pull me in, I know I have a job to do, animals to care for .... Its just when I have thought “I can’t” that I know I must.
I’ve been busy with my new job, completely, and I mean completely refurnishing my first floor...
We do often say and hear “he would have wanted you to be happy”. Well, I can say my Brian was ALL about action. He would have wanted me to be busy and would have felt THAT would eventually make me happy again. There is truth to that for sure.
To any CALS widow/widower, I would say, you’ve already gotten through ALS. Maybe for a year, maybe for ten or more. You sure can get through rebuilding your life.
I’m glad my year of firsts is nearly over, expecting another set of challenges in year two. Grief is truly a process- and a gauntlet. I’m still standing. The dog and I just might enjoy a little winter sun today too.
At Christmas I said I would not be back, but activism in my local ALSA and in supporting Medical Aid in Dying has kept my “tribe” from the Forum often in my thoughts.
I’m here to say this is insanely difficult, but coping with the loss, just as coping with ALS itself is do-able. Yes, we can.
My love for my husband was -is beyond anything. Maybe even more intense because we did not have children (not that I have that experience for comparison, so I cannot truly know). Yet still we rise.
The everyday has truly helped me. Just as I feel the dark pit of grief Pull me in, I know I have a job to do, animals to care for .... Its just when I have thought “I can’t” that I know I must.
I’ve been busy with my new job, completely, and I mean completely refurnishing my first floor...
We do often say and hear “he would have wanted you to be happy”. Well, I can say my Brian was ALL about action. He would have wanted me to be busy and would have felt THAT would eventually make me happy again. There is truth to that for sure.
To any CALS widow/widower, I would say, you’ve already gotten through ALS. Maybe for a year, maybe for ten or more. You sure can get through rebuilding your life.
I’m glad my year of firsts is nearly over, expecting another set of challenges in year two. Grief is truly a process- and a gauntlet. I’m still standing. The dog and I just might enjoy a little winter sun today too.